"Ho, ho, that wacky Danimal the Ultimate Male and his silly April Fool's day hijinx!" you surely thought to yourself when you saw that we had been "sliced" on Thursday, or Friday, or whenever the hell you came here (NOTE:  if you didn't come Thursday or Friday and no idea what I'm talking about, then go see what I mean).  Well, you were half right.  While certainly Eks the Assassin didn't and probably wouldn't slice his own site (though I must thank him for the fantastic rendering), the fact remains that this is the end of Nothing-Sacred.

"Huh?" you say in your best Scooby Doo impression.  Yes, it's true.  You read it correctly and April Fool's has passed, so this is no joke.  After the 3+ years and over 400 articles this site has produced, thereby strengthening people's arguments that the internet shouldn't be available to just any idiot, we're calling it quits.  Well, not really "we" so much as "I."

Let me say now that I've enjoyed creating and maintaining this site.  It's been a fun experience and I'm glad I did it.  However, there are other things which I'd like to do before I reach the tender young age of 7,000 that I simply can't do while spending hours trying to find stupid pictures of Dark Angel cast members, getting a CAT scan, or blathering on about nothing important (something at which I excel).

Also, I'm a firm believer of "going out on top."  And since we've finally reached our goal of seven people reading the site, I figure that's about as good as it gets.  The last thing you'd want is some tired, rehashed material because I felt like I "had to" do an article that day.  I mean, the articles I really want to write are bad enough, imagine the ones I'd just do out of necessity!

I've had a lot of fun working on this site.  I've met (in a way) a lot of interesting people with interesting things to say (or insane Nintendo game collections), and had tons of fun relaying my experiences at Toy Shows.  I appreciate anyone who's ever come to the site and passed, enjoyed it, and told someone else.  I don't understand this behavior, but I appreciate it.  So thank you to all of our loyal fan.

And naturally I must thank the other end of the spectrum too.  Be it imbeciles who love shitty Japanese cartoons, idiots who like incredibly horrible bands, or deranged coworkers trying to seduce me at every turn, the hate mail only helped me realize that the work I was doing was indeed making a difference.  It was showing that there's an awful lot of illiterate loser fanboys out there.

And above all else, I've got to thank the writers who made this site the "almost more entertaining than a hand grenade in the crotch" phenomenon that it is.  Rob, Jeff, Iced Alex, Nerraux, Brandon, and "the new kid" Trevor who single-handedly did all of February's updates and made them about 10,000 times better than anything I could ever do.  And of course there's our "occasional-to-almost-never" contributing writers Calvin "Words" Smith (our mentor and editor-in-chief), Righteous Ron, Eks the Assassin, Miraculo the Magnificent, Mr. Palabras, DJ Hot Money, and the almighty PizzleWig.  In short, all of you are the finest writers I have ever worked with (total other writers worked with:  zero), and I can't thank each and every one of you enough for taking the time to put your thoughts down for this crummy little shit site.

Now, this doesn't mean that we're vanishing, I still have both the web space and the domain name for another year, so you can feel free to check all of the archive pages (those are the buttons on the left of the page) and send me even more hate mail.  Or you could even do something totally nuts and post at our message board.  And please, don't think for two seconds that this is some lame ego stroking ploy to get mail saying "no, come back, you're so great."  First, I know none of you would do that, and 2) I would never stoop so low either.

Or do nothing at all.  There's plenty of other good sites out there, check our "Friends" page or just look around for some porn.  Either way, I'd like to take what is a strangely sad moment for me (strange because I thought I had no emotions at all) to say thank you once again... and good-bye.

- Danimal