The Passion of the Christ is currently taking the United States by storm with it portrayal of the last hours of Jesus's short, but holy productive life.  With so much media attention and buzz about this movie, it's easy to forget another movie making the rounds now, albeit on a limited basis; The Passion of Batman & Robin.  I recently spoke with the director, Freddie Undertree, to get a feel for this movie that will have the whole world buzzing anew.

BJM: You new movie is called The Passion of Batman & Robin and is currently playing in 30 small, yet forward thinking theaters around the country.  Could you describe this movie for the readers who haven't heard of it yet?

FU: This movie is about a boy exploring his feelings, as he has not done before.  It's become the cliché of the Bat-mythos that Batman is somehow sexually molesting Robin.  That is simply not the case.  It's the other way around.  Robin is molesting Batman.

BJM: Do you think this is a hard sell for most people?  The premise of a young man seducing a much older man is somewhat hard to swallow.  What evidence do you have to back this up?

FU: It's not a hard pill to swallow at all.  Bruce Wayne is obviously a vulnerable man.  He wanders around in the dark brooding over his dead parents from his childhood.  When Dick Grayson porks him, it makes him remember the pain of his parent's death.  It's all psychological.  That's part of the reason I cast myself as Batman.  I wanted to feel the pain he goes through daily.

BJM: Let's talk more about the specifics of the movie.  The choice of "villains" is interesting.  You chose Riddler, a villain already seen in Batman Forever.  What kind of relationship does he have to the overall story?

FU: He's really background music to the overall symphony of the film, if you catch my meaning.  As we start the film, we find Batman being "spread thin" by the Boy Wonder for the first time.  This is an equally compelling scene because it shows the need of Bruce Wayne and the absolute perversion of Robin.  Riddler has broken out of prison and needs to be caught.  That's all in the background, but rather than putting together the clues, they are butt-spelunking.

BJM: So, Riddler has very little to do with this?

FU: Yes, of course he does.  Robin must put his rampant need to sodomize Batman behind him and work to solve the problem.  That's the crux of the plot.  Will he pull out and get his "biff" and "pow" on?  That's the central plot; anal rape.

BJM: This is your first film (possibly last) and many critics are dismissing it.  More to the point, many critics are decrying the brutal sexual depiction of arguably one of the most notable heroes of fiction.  One critic stated that, "This movie is more about love and beautification for anal rape than it is about passion; buy some porn, Freddie Undertree!"  How do you respond to these types of criticisms?

FU: The violence is real because it's passionate violence.  Robin is demeaning Batman, sure, but there's love somewhere in his utility belt for Batman too.

BJM: Critics also say that this movie goes nowhere.  It's nearly three hours of pornographic anal sex.  At one point, a woman comes in and spanks Robin as he performs his Machiavellian-sexual deeds.  How do you explain all this as necessary?

FU: That's Aunt Harriet.

BJM: But she was black...

FU: So was Harvey Dent/Two-Face in the first Batman movie, but I guess you can accept that because it's Tim "I'll Never Watch Your Film, So Stop Calling, You Perv" Burton?

BJM: Overall, do you think fans of the various cartoons, TV shows and comic books will be pleased with your treatment of the characters.  Do you think there is an audience for this kind of film?

FU: Anyone could enjoy this film.  Kids.  Octogenarians.  Adults.  Convicted Sex Offenders.  Priests.  Anyone, really.  I know I enjoyed it.

BJM: Not to pry, but is that an erection stemming from your pants?

FU: Guilty as charged!  I'm just excited about this movie.  Four more theaters added last week, even though ten dropped.  I think it will pick up steam once all this Christ crap is over.

BJM: Jesus has been around for over 2000 years.  It could be a while.  What's your next film?

FU: I've had several people, namely younggayporn4sadoldmen.com, interested in my filming techniques.  I may tackle a bio-pic for Moses.

BJM: Have you already begun work on a script treatment?

FU: Of course.  It's only in it's second draft, but these things take time.  Especially plotting the spreading of the Red Sea.

BJM: It's the "parting" of the Red Sea.

FU: (giggle) That's what you think...

- Brandon