So here we are once again so close to the single most romantic day of the year; when lovers stare in each others' eyes and young people dream of fleeting infatuation rather than shooting their classmates.  I'm talking of course about Martin Luther King Day.  And though the day has passed, I still thought I should do something as a tribute.  And, since we all know Dr. King was a big fan of giant, fighting robots (in his day called Might Tank Drone Commando), the best way I could think to immortalize him was with another review of The Transformers.

Megatron stumbles onto an underwater city called Subatlantica.  It's run by fish-looking guys and abounds in energy.  The leader, Nurgiel (who has a nasty habit of talking to himself almost nonstop), welcomes Megatron but secretly plans to overthrow him while at the same time Megatron plans to overthrow Nurgiel, making this more complicated than your average Melrose Place episode.  The Decepticons use the Subatlanticans' energy to help surface the city and take over Washington D.C.  At the same time, Nurgiel invents the "Dysfunction Ray," a gun that shoots a laser beam and turns happy families into the Bundys.  The Autobots, in a cameo appearance, show up and are immediately captured, so the Dinobots arrive and kick some ass, just like always.  In the end, Nurgiel causes Subatlantica to self destruct, and the Decepticons run away screaming.

There's a fantastic moment where Grimlock whoops the ever-loving piss out of Megatron, tossing him around like a rag doll.

• The Decepticon jets can fly underwater?
• The Subatlanticans are said to speak telepathically, and they even have little Aquaman-esque rings come out of their heads to prove it.  However, they also keep moving their mouths for some reason.
• And speaking of being telepaths, how did the Subatlanticans not pick up on Megatron's plans to overthrow them?
• Naturally, since the mission involves battling two fierce enemies, and is underwater, the Autobots bring Spike.
• Megatron captures Wheeljack, aims his fusion cannon, and then locks him up in a cell.  He'd probably end up more dead if you'd kill him, Megatron.
• The Decepticons learn to descramble Nurgiel's secret messages to his men and learn that he's planning to kill the Autobots and Decepticons.  So, in retaliation they do nothing at all.
• Hound shows--for the first time ever--concern for the monuments in Washington D.C.  He tells the other Autobots to be careful with their aim so they don't hit any.  Then he runs and takes cover behind the Washington Monument.  Guess it's OK if it's destroyed and long as it's the Decepticons doing the destroying.
• Wheeljack awakens from being paralyzed by Nurgiel's Freezy-Dysfunction-Ice Beam and knows that he's going to use it on the rest of the Autobots, but waits a good 10 minutes (or 927 trillion astroseconds) to try and warn Prime.  Of course, by then it's too late.
• Speaking of which, Wheeljack had to have his "relays reset" manually by Spike to be released from stasis, but Starscream, also hit by the beam, just gets all better for no good reason.
• Bumblebee, Wheeljack, and Spike follow Nurgiel into his Dome O' Protection over Washington D.C.  Setting aside that they're two steps behind him so how does he not see them, in the next scene he's at the battlegrounds and the Autobots are suddenly miles and miles away.  Where the hell did they go?
• Grimlock gets hold of Nurgiel's gun and destroys it.  Somehow this breaks its hold on the Autobots.
• I guess that's good that this worked because the original plan was to have Grimlock reset Prime's relays (whatever that means).  Somehow I don't think I'd want that lumbering oaf noodling around in Prime's circuitry.
• And the biggest question, how is that no one ever discovered Subatlantica, with its big fire pits and abounding energy, before the Decepticons?

CHANGED PREMISES

• Starscream suddenly has a missile launcher on his wrist.
• The Subatlanticans need to wear these little "water masks" (kind of like a SCUBA mask but filled with water) while on dry land.  Then suddenly at the end they don't need them anymore.  I suppose one could try to make the case that they were back in Subatlantica and therefore underwater, but unfortunately for that theory Spike is right there beside them and he's breathing just fine.

ANIMATION FLUBS

• When Soundwave shows Megatron the area where Subatlantica is, the split scream shows the ocean and a readout of what's below.  The ocean keeps scrolling (because Lazerbeak is racing above it taking this picture), but the readout stays rock solid.
• As the Decepticons leave their base at the beginning of the episode, Starscream is painted yellow.
• When the Autobots first go into the ocean, they just drive right in along the surface of the water.  When they leave, however, they use those "hydrofoils."
• After Subatlantica surfaces, Bumblebee announces that it's heading for Washington D.C.  How he did this is astounding, because it's just sitting out in the middle of the ocean, nowhere near anything.  Then the next shot shows it to be about four inches away from Washington D.C., making Bumblebee's previously brilliant deduction look a little less brilliant.
• The Decepticons take off to attack Washington, but Starscream remains behind.  He's standing outside with Nurgiel.  Nurgiel turns and goes into some room while talking to himself for no reason.  Suddenly Starscream's already in that room, just so he can overhear the dastardly plot.
• Spike must also be working on his telepathy.  He speaks perfectly clearly while underwater, with an oxygen tank mouthpiece in his mouth, and without ever moving his lips several times in this episode.
• Called for backup, Grimlock tells only Sludge and Snarl to come and help him.  Luckily, the other two also go to lend a hand.
• Naturally, those clever people at Sunbow snuck in yet another clip of Optimus Prime's transformation from some damn show that sucked.

- Danimal