[Note from The Danimal:  After writing several articles for us which were apparently very popular with murder convicts and crossdressing pygmies as well as the N-S staff, Brandon has decided to become one of us.  This will become finalized as soon as he passes... The Goat's Blood Test!]

In recent times, tragedy has struck at the heart of the world twice.  Once, it was on a cool, February day in Austria in 1997.  The other day of tragedy was borne in New York, Pennsylvania, and Washington, DC in September 2001.  The latter, the terrorist attacks of 9/11, have overshadowed the former quite considerably.  Many don't recall what happened on that February morn when the world lost its last true musical pioneer.  When the world lost Johann Hölzl.

When the world lost Falco.

There are those that still remember Falco.  Though their numbers fade daily, one group of talented young men continue his legacy of music while bridging the gap between two seemingly unrelated tragedies.  Die Schnelle Fahrt is a Falco tribute band currently doing a ten city tour in support of their concept show "Falco: 9/11 Prophet."  I recently had a chance to sit down with the group's frontman, Harvey Speckner, after their Charlotte, NC gig to get the skinny on their mission.

Brandon Morgan (BJM): Harvey, thanks for taking the time to sit down and talk about your show.  I know you've all been very busy.

Harvey Speckner (HS): Not a problem there, friend.  Ask any and everything.

BJM: How did you guys get started as a Falco tribute band?  That seems kind of like a random choice given his limited popularity here in the states and his laughable status as a musician.

HS: You see, right there.  Right there's the key issue.  He was popular in America and most Americans don't even realize it.  It's that attitude, coupled with the fact most people think his music sucks, that just rubs me and the guys in Die Schnelle Fahrt all wrong.  Falco was a beautiful person and an even better musician.

BJM: OK, point taken.  Allow me to rephrase.  So, how did you come up with this great idea to have a Falco tribute band?

HS: You see, there you go again, except this time you're just being sarcastic.  You see...

BJM: Just answer the damn question.

HS: Ok, not a problem.  When I was in high school, I started this particular Falco tribute band in 1992.  We called ourselves Die Schnelle Fahrt, which is German for "The Fast Ride."  At the time, the four of us in Die Schnelle Fahrt didn't know how appropriate it was at the time.  Falco would die in a motorcycle accident.  All we cared about was playing the music that meant so much to us; the music of Falco.

BJM: I remember hearing Falco 3 and thinking, "This guy is a fucking loser and an even bigger joke."  What were your impressions of that album?

HS: I guess I was eight years old when I first heard Falco 3.  My sister, who was a teen at the time, had the tape.  I remember many days just listening to it there in my house in rural Arkansas thinking that surely God had blessed us with this prodigy, though he was never mentioned at my local Baptist church.  It was just pure brilliance.

BJM: That's sad.  You've just started a tour that you are billing as half-entertainment, half-revolution to the world.  Can you explain that further?

HS: This past August, the gang and I came up with the dual-idea for a tribute to Falco and New York.  We started looking at photographs we had of Falco and found one where Falco was pointing at a burning plane.  We knew it was something magical.  Falco had been trying to tell us all along. Terrorists, because of this, killed him as well.  He could see the terror that was coming and they took him away from us.  The bastards took him away from us.

BJM: Right... Continue.

HS: Over a furious hour-long brainstorming session on August 25th, it was decided that we should do one big gig to help support NYC.  Two tragedies that we felt still burnt like salty wounds on the hearts of America all in one.  We just wanted to bring some joy to the world.

BJM: I'm assuming that one gig did well.

HS: Very well, actually.  There two hundred people there!  Most of them were there for Fraternity Rush, but I'm sure most of those frat-boys left loving the F-Man.  I was personally somewhat peeved that they kept thinking it was karaoke night and kept trying to get on stage to sing Jimmy Buffet, but ultimately, the outcome outweighed the annoyances.

BJM: Then you decided to spread the joy to ten other cities in the US. Gee thanks.  Your set list is interesting, though.  You are playing an album in it's entirety.

HS: The decision was made almost immediately that we would be performing Falco's "Emotional" album in its entirety.  We didn't just want to play the hits.  We thought "Emotional" would be better because we both knew this would be an emotional occasion.  We want to be the world's most respected Falco cover band.  We want to prove to the world that we aren't poseurs that play "Rock Me Amadeus" every night.

BJM: I understand you've gained the endorsement of Falco's cousin, Fritz Hölzl.  Tell me how that came about.

HS: It was the Friday before the initial gig when I received a phone call from Fritz Hölzl, Falco's third cousin.  He had heard of our gallant effort on a message board.  Being an administrator of the official Falco boards, he offered his assistance in any way, shape, or form he could offer it.  He actually showed up for our initial gig.

BJM: So, he's funding your tour?

HS: Not exactly.  In the beginning, Fritz was thrilled, but now he's actually offered us money to stop the show.  He says it's an embarrassment now that we are touring the cities with these, as he calls them, "unfounded ideas of his dearly departed cousin's foresight into the events of 9/11."

BJM: I agree with Fritz; it all sounds like bullshit to me.  Do you honestly believe the guy who sang "Rock Me Amadeus" would have precognition of future events and not be able to write better songs than that?

HS: That's my belief, yes.

BJM: I did a background check on you before the interview.  You also espouse the belief that Gary Coleman is really Eminem and Marshall Mathers is just a public face to the "real deal".  Again, do you honestly believe that crap?

HS: Yes, I do.  Gary Coleman is in the hizzie.  Hell, Falco's in the hizzie too.

BJM: With that, I gladly end this interview.  Thank you for your time and hopefully you will have continued success with being one of our societies many jokes.

HS: It's been a pleasure.  FALCO RULZ!

- Brandon