Not too terribly long ago (read:  a year and a half ago), Rob sent me a link to a site to download an early '90s PSA video about software pirating.  He indicated that it involved a young and hot rapper that no one's ever heard of before.  My initial thought was "I need another beer."  Then I thought "this sounds like something I should pass along to DJ Hot Money."  Then I actually watched it.  And watched it again.  In fact, I couldn't stop watching it.  This thing was great!  If you'd like, you can also go to that site and snatch this gem, but it's kind of a large file so I also made a much smaller and markedly crappier version you can download if you don't have the patience.

The video begins, like all videos from the '90s, with a young Queen Latifa and that poor kid from Boy Meets World playing some sort of video game, with the keyboard.  Shawn isn't doing so hot, since he can't play games with a keyboard, something I too struggle with from time to time.

Uh-oh, trouble looms.  Queen and Shawn decide it's time to go, but they come up with the ingenious idea that they could make a copy of the game to play again at home.  No, don't do it!

I warned you!  Upon trying to copy the game, possibly called "Super Smash Sonic Squadron," the computer gets taken over by... The Leather M.C.!  The leather M.C. begins to ask thought-provoking questions set to the tune of a hot rap hit!  Lyrics such as "Did I hear you right?  Did I hear you sayin' that you're gonna make a copy of a game without payin'?  Come on guys, don't copy that floppy!"  I could feel some tears welling as I listened.  Not only was it touching and heartfelt, but also really horrible.

At first, Shawn was going to just turn off the computer and forget whatever the hell Leather M.C. is blabbing about, but Queen tells him to "talk to the hand," as this is the music of her people.

The Leather M.C. then proceeds to take the kids on a tour of the hot games of the time:  Giganto Tylenol Air Attack and Spaceman Crossword.  Looking at these graphics, it's a miracle computer games ever survived to become the giant magnet for dorks they are today.

The Leather M.C. seems to be making some valid points when all of a sudden he turns to the side and tries to pick a fight with the cue card guy, probably for slipping in the line "It's not right and it's not funny, stealing won't make you like a fuzzy little bunny!"

"Who cares about all this crap?  I'm still going to make a copy of the game!"

Things aren't looking good, the Leather M.C. isn't getting through like Mr. T used to on his cartoon.  So, he does the world renowned "Shuffle the Deck" dance in an attempt to mesmerize the kids into doing his evil bidding.

"Ummm, yeah that's nice and all, but we're still going to make a copy of the game.  But should we call an ambulance for that seizure you're having?"

The M.C. resorts to even more drastic measure and threatens to beat the kids senseless if they try to make a copy.  Still no luck.  So, he pulls out his trump card and shows them another terrible result of software pirating...

It's this site, made using literally dozens of pieces of pirated software (depending on how many times you multiply Paint and Notepad by twelve)!

Naturally, the kids can't cancel the copy process quickly enough after seeing this.  And then they log off the computer, both swearing to never touch one of those "Evil Torture Machines" ever again.

Another solid victory for the Leather M.C.!  Sure his work is valuable, as he teaches kids that making copies of software can have the possible negative outcome of software companies not becoming triple quintillionaires while continuing to shell out the same shit year after year, but I wonder how tired he gets of having to sing that song every single time someone tries to copy a piece of software.  Sometimes I'll even pretend to copy stuff just to make him appear on my screen.

As you can see, I was quite taken with the Leather M.C.'s stellar performance.  But what do industry insiders think?

And the reviews are in!

Craig Dykstra of Brøderbund:

"I really enjoyed Leather M.C.'s 'vibe' and 'groove thang.'  I think he really reaches to the kids.  I just wish we could have gotten Michael Bolton to do the song, as I'm his number one fan!  I even wear my hair like he does!"

Janet Hunter of Microsoft:

"It's kind of catchy.  Sounds a little too 'urban' to me, though.  I mean, what would a young Negro hoodlum be doing with a computer in the first place?  I'd be more afraid he'd try to mug and kill me than steal my software.  They should have used someone more mainstream, such as Michael Bolton"

Dave Butler, avid computer gamer:

"Yes, this is a magnificent piece that the gang and I at the local Dungeons and Dragons clubhouse are really excited to see!  This should prevent people from trying to steal software.  Next we'd like to see the Leather M.C. do something like 'Don't Wedgie Reggie' or 'Let Ray Use His Nasal Spray' or something along those lines.  Or perhaps Michael Bolton!"

Ilene Rosenthal of Adobe:

"We're really thrilled about computer software piracy here at Adobe.  Even though no one would ever try to copy one of our out-dated and obsolete programs, software theft has allowed us the opportunity to raise our prices from 'ridiculous' to 'completely laughable.'  Can you believe that people still use Photoshop?  Oh, and as for the video, I didn't watch it because I only like songs by Michael Bolton."

Michael Bolton of Intertrode:

"What the hell is wrong with you people?  That ass clown sucks.  Now the Leather M.C., he's more my style.  I thought that the video was pretty good, except for the... 'P.C. Load Letter?'  What the fuck does that mean?"

- Danimal