PEACE UP, FAGGOTZ!!! It be DAT TIME O YEAR AGAIN, time for CROSSMUS!!!
And y'all be knowin what they sayin "YO HO HO AND A BOTTLE O THUNDABIRD,
STRAIGHT UP"!!! Since y'all be WRITIN ME NONSTOPLIKE fo da HOTTEST
NEW JAMZ ta be buyin fo dat SPECIAL SUMONE LIKE YO FAVRITE BOOTY HO, I
be do am fo sho doin a GOOD GUIDE TA DA TOP CRISMESS JAMZ LIKE A MUTHAFUKKA!!!
Britney Spears, "In the Zone"
AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW YEAH, SLIKK WILLY!!! This be da HOT PICK fo
da HOLIDAY SEAZON FO SHO!!! This BOOTY BITCH be da PERFEKT STOKKIN
STUFFA!!! Maybe I be like "YO, BIRNEY, MARY CIRSMAS, now let me GET
IN YO ZONE, BITCH"!!! And she be like "SHO NUFF, HOT MONEY GODZILLA
MUFFIN"!!! Dat shit be TIGHT!!!
Cyndi Lauper, "At Last"
Yo, shouldnt this mug be called "DA LAST"??? Az in DA LAST CD
this BITCH be puttin out cuz she be like 100 YEARZ OLD O MAYBE EVEN DEAD???
She did be doin dat good song "BITCHEZ JUST WANT SUM FUN SHIT, DAWG" o
whateva dat be called, DAT WUZ COOL!!!
Al Green, "I Can't Stop"
But y'all SHOULD!!! Befo I get DA GAT, WORD!!!
Counting Crows, "Films About Ghosts (Best Of)"
DA FUKK??? Haz anybody eva heard O THEZE FAGGOT HOMO BUMPAZ???
This be called DA BEST OF but it dont contain NUTHIN NO ONEZ HEARD OF!!!
Shoulda been called "PLEAZE BUY THIS SO WE CAN WHINE SUM MO ABOUT MISTA
JONZ AND HIZ BIG BOOTY"!!! Cuz they iz FAGGOTZ!!!
Missy Elliot, "This is Not a Test!"
Who da FUKK be this SUPA FINE BITCH pretendin ta be dat FATTY FLAB TUB
MISTY ELLOIT??? Whateva, I be TAPPIN IT FROM DA BAKKSIDE like iz
my ALL AMERICARN DOOTY, G!!! I wish she still be havin DA BOUNCY
BOOTY FO DA EXTRA MOTION O DA LAKE, PEACE!!!
Jumpin on a FREIGHT TRAIN, here be...
DJ Hot Money Smooth Mo Dee Daddy Ice Papa Smurf's FUNKY HOT SUPAFLY
FLASHBACK HIT FAVORITE, YO!
Ray Stevens, "20 Comedy Hits"
Yo, THIS DOOD ROKKZ SHIT, HORATIO!!! He be havin dat funny hit
"ARHAB DA ARABABIAN FAGGOT" which be FUNNY LIKE A SHIT BLANKET!!!
This CD be good fo GETTIN DA HONIEZ TA GIGGLE befo y'all be SLIPPIN THEM
DA DATE RAPE DRUG, WORD!!! It dont be havin dat "HAIRY DA FAT ASS
GORILLA" though, probly cuz dat be FAGGOT RACIST KYKE SPEECH, PEACE!!!
Elephant Man, "Good 2 Go"
"...right inta DA GARBAGE CAN"!!! This dood be all like "HEY MON,
CUM TO JAMMAIKA, MON"!!! It clearly be a RIPOFF o my NUMBA ONE RAYGAY
CD, "SMOKE DA GANJA AND I SMOKE YO BOOTY"!!!
Kelis, "Tasty"
AWWWWWWWWWWWW!!! Y'all sho be LOOKIN TASTY, but why such a CLOSE
PICTCHA??? I can't be seein how TASTY DA BOOTY BE!!! Y'all
gotz LOTZ ta learn if y'all wantz ta be FAMESS!!!
Fefe Dobson, "Fefe Dobson"
Yo, THIS BITCH be havin da RIGHT IDEALIZATION, but she aint got no TITTIEZ
O BOOTY, STRAIGHT UP!!! Y'all gotz ta have sumthin TA FLAUNT, FIFI!!!
And what da FUKK kind o name iz FIFI anyway??? What iz y'all, A DOBBERMAN
PINCHER??? Dont be STEALIN DAT HILARIOUS JOKE o I do am fo iz wuz
be GETTIN DA GAT, FAGGOT!!!
Alicia Keys, "The Diary of Alicia Keys"
"DEAR DAIRY: DAY ONE, da HOTTEST DJ/RAPPA O DA OLD MILENIUM be
askin if he could HIT IT FRUM DA BAKK!!! I said FO SHO, STUDSENSA!!!
DAY TWO, STILL HITTIN IT!!! DAY THREE, STILL HITTIN IT!!! DAY
FO, stopped ta CALL HIZ MA and let him know WHEN HED BE HOME!!! DAY
FIVE, STILL HITTIN IT!!! DAY SIX, kikked my HO AZZ OUT ON DA STREET!!!
He iz DA LOVE MACHINE"!!!
And now a SNEEKY PEEK fo next WEEKY WEEK:
Joe, "And Then..."
HEY JO, where y'all be goin WIT DAT FAGGOT IN YO PANTZ??? Whatz
THIS SHIT, PIMPSTA??? Aint y'all be gottin no LAST NAME???
And then WHAT, FUKKA??? This CD BE FO FAGGOTZ and maybe DOODZ NAMED
JO, I DONT KNOW!!!
Az y'all can see, itz gonna be a WHITIE CHRISMISS becuz all da KRAKKA
HONKIEZ be puttin out a bunch of HOMO LUV KARMA, WORD!!! Y'all be
betta off just givin a bottle o BRUTE COLLONE, o maybe AKWA VELVET, DA
GOOD SHIT!!! Alwayz appreshiated BY DA HOMIEZ!!! And give DA
HONIEZ CAB FAIR AND A BLAKK EYE, FO SHO!!!
- DJ HOT MONEY OUT!
Be sure to check out DJ
Hot Money Smooth Mo Dee Daddy Ice Papa Smurf's website. He's
assured us that it's "supa fine like Boone's Farm wine."
