Salutations once again, Assassin Associates.  Eks is here as always to defeat various enemies of a foul nature around the world from the comfort of his dwelling and part time dojo.  An electronic transmission from one of the Associates sent The Assassin on his next hunt.

The journey transported Eks through the wondrous internet ocean to an abode named "Brandon's Page."  Or is it called "Titlelessness?"  Both names adorn the first room, creating an instant atmosphere of mystery and excitement.  Could this be the secret temple of brainwashing tactics?  A cursory look around would lead one to believe that the answer is a definite "no."  It appears much more likely that it is simply a young person with virtually no ability to decorate web abodes.

Also distinctly lacking is anything of noteworthy interest.  In fact, the only room to contain any reading material at all is a seemingly never-ending array of nonsense written by the known Nazi underground nationalist, "Mr. Blond."  Topics such as bands that are good and why women are inferior nearly put the surfer into a comatose state of boredom.  But beware!  When your guard is down, that's when Brandon attacks!

But Eks attacks quicker, sharper, and more deadly.

The confusion this abode inspires is not over yet though!  One of the virtually nonexistent amount of hyperlinks leads to Josh's Page, a seeming subset of the original abode, but actually an entirely different lair!  It is, however, every bit as devoid of content, mostly just leading the now half blind surfer to various other abodes which undoubtedly contain something that will be more interesting.

After quickly and easily dispensing with this abode, Eks headed back to the original enemy.

Beware, innocent surfers!  This room contains deadly flying monkeys who attempt to leap off the computing monitor and feast on one's brains!  The sheer multitude of them nearly overwhelmed me.

But naturally, even these cunning creatures eventually succumb to The Assassin's onslaught.

Brandon's Page was in all likelihood the single worst web abode that Eks has encountered yet.  I could not even understand what its purpose was, other than to induce fever dreams and madness on all whose gaze cross it.  Victory was hardly a challenge, but still smelled sweet nonetheless.

One can only presume that this malformed miscreant is the creator himself, Brandon.  It would stand to reason that it would have to be some sort of insidious subhuman who would erect such a terrible abode, clearly designed only to instill rage and hatred.  I dealt with him swiftly, as my stay had already been much too long.

There were two areas known as "guestbooks" which The Assassin did not battle, as they were clearly beneath my abilities.  So, the responsibility falls upon my loyal Associates to do the task.  You may destroy one or the other, but definitely attack soon, or you too shall be...

- Eks the Assassin

Got a site you'd like Eks to slice?  Send it to him!