In checking my email recently, I discovered what had to be about 9,000 messages telling me that a "wicked screensaver" was attached.  The irony of this email?  The screensaver's not that wicked.  In fact, it mostly just seems to destroy your computer.  There were, however, a whole string of emails sent about ten minutes apart from different people about--yes, that's right--the Top Ten Worst Bands of All Time list I did four hundred years ago and constantly have to refer back to since I don't even remember 90% of what I wrote.  That's not really because it's old, to be honest I don't remember 90% of what I've written here already.

Being the gracious sport I am, I decided to thoroughly listen to every compelling word.

From: Jon Gilman
To: danimal@nothing-sacred.net
Subject:  (none)

You must have the worst taste in music ever. I'd like to hear what bands you think are good. A lot of the bands are classics that you said suck and made more money in 5 years of their life than you ever probably will....cuz writing a shit list isnt the best profession. I totally dont get you man.....know how I got the link to the site? My friend put the link in her away message then said "wicked gay". Its true. Nice job buddy....I'd offer a listen to my band but you'd probably think we suck. GImme ur top 10 list.

From: The Danimal
To: Jon Gilman
Subject:  re: (none)

Hey, thanks for writing!

I hope my spelling and grammar are OK in this, I'm writing through tear-blurred eyes after finding out that some kids think I'm "wicked gay."  'Tis the most devastating thing ever!

You want to know what bands I DO like?  Such a question has never been asked!  No wait, it has a thousand times.  The articles already there, check it out:

http://www.nothing-sacred.net/articles/096/

Remember, this is all fact so it must be true!  Thanks again for writing.

From: Susan Pellerin
To: danimal@nothing-sacred.net
Subject:  (none)

ur a fuckin retard and if i ever find out who u r i swear u'll hear my opinion on all those bands

From: The Danimal
To: Susan Pellerin
Subject:  re: (none)

That would be a dream come true!  There's nothing that fills my days and nights more than the thought of hearing what you think of bands that everyone knows suck.  Your opinion means the world to me.

Who are you again?

Thanks for writing, and I'm sorry about your musical taste.

From: Marie Dumas
To: danimal@nothing-sacred.net
Subject:  you're an idiot

how dare you say things of that nature about these amazing performers and rock legends? yeah, i called them legends, because that's what they are. they affected millions of people lives, music like you said. Correct me if i'm wrong, which i know i am not, but this means all music. whether you liek that teenie-bopper stuff which i admit, i fucking hate, but some people get off on that shit and good for them it's what they enjoy. you can't expect everyone to agreewith you and your, excuse me, shitty taste in music. of course i respect your taste in music, whatever it may be, however i, and many others, believe you should back off the great music that those legends have made. that music helped people, it doesn't matter if the lyrics made no sense. and to get personal, i love jim morrison. you may want to research a little bit before you bash jim morrison. he was a lyrical poet, he had a few books with his poetry inside. also for you to bash jimi hendrix? are you serious??? jimi hendrix was an AMAZING guitar player. maybe you should clean out your damn ears, because coming from a guitar player myself, i can easily say that jiomi hendrix was a rock legend. music creates a feeling. it doesn't have to make sense, music rocks you in such a way that the feeling itself overrides the lyrics that may not make sense. music moves people, and if you don't appreciate the amazing music legends that have blessed us with their talent (yes, talent.) then just do all of us who enjoy good music a break, and please just shut the hell up. thank you.
-marie

From: The Danimal
To: Marie Dumas
Subject:  re: you're an idiot

Thanks for writing!

Sorry my shitty opinion got you so mad.  I'm also sorry that your name is Marie, as that's a silly name for a guy.  You are a guy, right?  You must be... everyone knows chicks can't play guitar.

I will race right out and get Jim Morrison's book of poetry.  I'm sure it ranks right up there with Jewel's!

Thanks again.

From: Xenia Dunford
To: danimal@nothing-sacred.net
Subject:  (none)

hey im just responding about your top ten worst bands of all time, and ive got a lot to say about this. obviously its all opinion...i mean have you really gotten any backup for your list you've taken the time to so graciously write. these artists you mentioned as ' bad music' is flat out wrong. peoples life experiences and feelings are presented in their music... and each and every one are all legends. who do u think u are? you dont even have all the facts. i read each little summary and your 'honorable mention' about nirvana....get a fuckin clue. kurt cobain was all about the music...u say the fans were the only recognition...haha yeah well your right on that note. kurt cobain was never lookin for the money...unlike you and ur fucked up site...'working hard for the money'... he killed himself because of fame and popularity...u fucking asshole. u have no fuckin right to assume something like that...especially when its someones death. see, some people do put there heart and soul into it. the beatles were an amazing band. they led a musical revolution. before them everything was cut and dry...music that was cheery and easy to listen to....yeah...it was shit. thats probably what you like, since you called every band with heart and actual meaing bad music. oh yeah and you say "music is life" really? well when talking about pink floyd you obviously think hygiene affects music.... yeah.......i sense some hypocrisy...now? if u run some kind of website that states your opinions about bad music....but then you give a long speech about great music... i would think that a person like you would know that you dont have to appreciate all music, but you can respect it. i mean music isnt about just you. it means something different to everyone. and its the same deal for the artists. they have theyre own musical tastes, and they want the world to hear, so more fuckin power to you. i mean i dont like nysnc, but theyre talented, and theyre doing what they love...maybe if you stop listening to all the superficiality that comes along with music...and really get in touch with it... youll understand what it means to love music. music isnt just what you think good music is....have u ever heard the tribes in africa... culteral music from all around the world? thats people expressing themselves through the magic of music. and before you go writing some bullshit website about 'bad music' why dont you try and understand music first....

From: The Danimal
To: Xenia Dunford
Subject:  re: (none)

Hey thanks for writing!

I'm not sure what you said, since after the sentence "i've got a lot to say about this (sic)" I immediately quit reading.  However, I'll just go ahead and figure it was nothing but glorious praise for me and my brilliance.  After all, why would someone take time to write to someone they don't know to blab on about some pitiful disagreement?  Especially if it's about scientifically documented fact such as who are the worst bands ever?  To me, that would make no sense, so I'll presume that's not what you did.

Thanks again for writing!

From: Sherry Turner
To: danimal@nothing-sacred.net
Subject:  Ask pizzleW

you suck.  7 of your top 10 worst bands ever are absolutely amazing, and revolutionized society as we know it.  i got 10 bucks that says youre a 45 year old fucking pedophile that was picked on unmercilessly in high school, and you are just now releasing all your pent up frustration.
 
P.S. you suck

From: The Danimal
To: Sherry Turner
Subject:  re: Ask pizzleW

Hey, thanks for writing!

Wow, how'd you peg me so accurately?  I mean, right down to the letter!  I like to release my pent up frustrations by writing the known facts about crappy bands.  It lets off steam almost as much as child pornography!

Thanks again for writing.

From: Brendan Ledoux
To: danimal@nothing-sacred.net
Subject:  what can you play?

Hey dipshit don't fucking ever diss Nirvana, and Nirvana had so many other fucking HIT songs and creative artistic lyrical songs. Your the biggest shithead i am going to shoot you fucking idiot!!!! Oh and don't say Led Zeppelin is bad and don't say Jimi Hendrix is bad and don't say the Beatles are bad and don't say the Doors are bad. You don't know any music, you probably are so stuck up with yourself and whatever you listen to that you aren't opened minded and you don't want to like other music or even give other music credit. So take your Musical critizations and stick them up your ass, fucking idiot.

From: The Danimal
To: Brendan Ledoux
Subject:  re: what can you play?

Thanks for writing.  I just wanted to take this opportunity to say that Nirvana is bad, Led Zeppelin is bad, Jimi Hendrix is bad, The Beatles are bad, and The Doors are bad.

Thanks again!

From: Brendan Ledoux
To: The Danimal
Subject:  re: What can you play?

dude shut the fuck up, what do you like poisen???? fucking shithead your so dumb i know where u live bitch i am going to shoot u asswipe

From: The Danimal
To: Brendan Ledoux
Subject:  re: what can you play?

Hey thanks for writing and continuing to support the site.

You're dead on, I love "poisen."  They are truly the best band ever.  Don't you think it's a little weird that the only two bands out there are Nirvana and "poisen?"  Every music store... two sections for the only two bands out there.  Why can't there be more?

Thanks again.  Oh yeah, and Jimi Hendrix is bad.

- Danimal