Greetings, Assassin Associates.  With little time of late for internet web surfing due to secret missions involving numerous disembowlings which The Assassin cannot go too deeply into detail without having to remove several of your vital organs, it was with much dismay when Eks found many electronic transmissions awaiting my viewing.

The first on the list was a web abode which hailed itself simply as Jeff Licon.  A curious name, as it sounds suspiciously similar to Je Flee Kawn, the ancient and very much unheard of martial art of removing eyeballs with the toes.  With tension on high, Eks decided to check it out for any new techniques.  However, it is in fact a web abode dedicated to someone simply of the name Jeff Licon.  Could this be a trap?  Surely no one would be of the impression that anyone on the face of the globe could be interested in learning about himself.  Danger must lie in wait, be cautious, Assassin Associates!

No danger in the first room of the abode any way.

A bizarre and completely uninteresting array of photographic images await the internet surfer in this particular room.  There are many pictures of one Jeff Licon doing various and assorted tasks which in no way inspire anyone to continue exploring the abode.  Could this be a trick?  Could this Jeff Licon actually be a mastermind who is hard at work destroying the moral fiber of society?  Or is it just that he's a self absorbed child believing himself to be more important than he is?

Whatever the answer may be, The Assassin will undoubtedly find it with little trouble.

At last, the cunning owner of the abode shows his mastery of trickery!  One of the hypertext links promises to "resume," which would lead one to believe that one will resume surfing the internet ocean, but this is not the case by a long shot!  Instead, the internet surfer is punished for trying to escape by seeing the same photographic image as in the first room, this time accompanied by a lengthy list of supposed "films" and "television shows" in which this insane madman has appeared.  Yet none of them are real, as they are all titles no one has heard of before!  Ingeniously maniacal!  The possibility also exists that this devious stranger simply misspelled the word "résumé" out of sheer lack of intelligence, but it is always safer to expect the worst.

This is especially true when Eks is present.

In what is the most appalling and flagrant display of arrogance the world has ever known, this foul demon actually encourages people to write to him, call it "fan mail."  The Assassin believe this to be a trick, like when one writes to him he traces your electronic transmission to its source, travels to your dwelling, and then distributes photographic images to you in an attempt to break your spirit.  Beware!

The same warning of caution applies to this abode as well.

After the constant onslaught of misdirection, Eks expected a much more worthy opponent, but Jeff Licon was in no way difficult to defeat.  Even in his broken and decimated state, he still insisted on giving The Assassin an "autograph," which sounds like some sort of truth machine test to me.

The abode contained virtually nothing of significance, which was a true letdown.  There was one room entitled "Guestbook" which Eks did not slice, leaving that task to you, Assassin Associates.  Slice it for me and be quick about it.  Your work in this area has significantly dropped in recent times, and this had best change unless you too would like to be...

- Eks the Assassin

Got a site you'd like Eks to slice?  Send it to him!