Hiiiii-Keeba!
by,
Charles

vs. 

Bruce Lee kicked entire gangs' asses. Jackie Chan did, too-- sometimes with a ladder. Bruce Lee fought Kareem. Jackie Chan climbed walls-- without a ladder. Which one truly kicks more ass? Let's take a look at their past histories, then hand over the crown.

Enter the Dragon - Bruce Lee infiltrates an island of death match fighters, kicking the ass of a bear-clawed evil leader and leaving him impaled by a shaolin spear, hanging on the wall.

Rumble In The Bronx - Jackie Chan uses a refrigerator to fight off a gang of motorcycle thugs.

Fists Of Fury - Bruce Lee infiltrates a criminal drug association, fighting it out with poison dart flicking, birdcage balancing martial arts mastermind. Beats up his german shepherds, too.

Operation Condor - Jackie Chan snowboards away from assassins and fights another underwater.

Game Of Death - Bruce Lee infiltrates an extortion syndicate bent on taking him out and fights Lakers center Kareem Abdul-Jabbar along the way.

Legend Of Drunken Master - Jackie Chan combines martial arts and drinking.

Bruce Lee's legacy:  Popularized martial arts but failed to do the same for the bowl cut.

 

Jackie Chan's legacy:  Chris Tucker and Owen Wilson.

Forever will be remembered, Bruce Lee:  As the still-image poster with shirt off, sweat glistening, and three bloody slashes across his upper body.

Forever will be remembered, Jackie Chan:  Hopefully not for The Tuxedo.

Famous quote, Bruce Lee:  "A good fight should be like a small play, but played seriously. When the opponent expands, I contract. When he contracts, I expand. And when there is an opportunity, I do not hit-- (shows fist) --it hits all by itself."

Famous quote, Jackie Chan:  "I once fracture my skull when I jump off a building. Everyone thought I die [sic]."

Fantasy fight scene:  Bruce Lee grabs nunchuks, dazzles and dances around Jackie Chan. Jackie grabs ironing board, fights off Bruce while pressing clothes.

Cool factor to consider, Bruce Lee:  Early in Bruce's career, camera film had to be changed because it failed to capture his quickness.

Cool factor to consider, Jackie Chan:  Jackie has broken his fingers, his nose (two times), his ankles, his hip, his shoulder, dislocated some vertebrae,  sustained two concussions, fractured his skull, impacted his back, burned his hands (twice), and cut himself everywhere from his eyes down to his ass.

And the crown goes to...

Jackie Chan. He gets the edge, but arguably owes it all to Bruce.

- Charles

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