Welcome, Assassin Associates.  An unexpected layover recently in Hong Kong while Eks searched for a lost vile of a biological weapon caused a few delays in any recent updates.  The Assassin never did find the deadly toxin anywhere, but it will turn up soon.  Several requests for web abode mutilation have come in my absence, so the prudent move to make would be to address them with speed and vigilance.

The abode suggested to Eks at first seemed like an information abode called "Kickin it with Chris T."  Chris T., as many of you know, is the master of the ancient art of Tang Soo Do, and learning from him how to kick would be both an honor and privilege.  Of course, The Assassin would then kill him, but the few moments of instruction would be nice.

But this is not the case, it is in fact "Kickin it with Christ," the mythological being that many foolish people choose to follow because they are too weak to believe in themselves and their vast array of razor sharp weapons.

The abode was a frenzied collage of confusion.  It appears as though it were meant to "turn on" the youth of America to the "cool" Jesus Christ.  Gaze upon this image which states that Jesus is "Daman," apparently hoping to fool the youths into thinking that Jesus is much like one of the Wayans brothers, many of whom I have encountered and annihilated before.  Everywhere you look in this abode, there is a clear attempt to brainwash youngsters by making an exciting abode where children may come and relax.  Relaxing is the last thing you want to do when Eks is present though.

The Assassin entered this room of the abode hoping to find uplifting tidbits from the fable entitled "The Bible" that you may or may not have heard of before.  Certainly it is not as good as Black Belt magazine, but it would have to suffice.  Instead, it is merely a room in which the creator of the abode solicits electronic transmissions from the helpless viewers.  To lure you in to a hypnotic trance so you will obey the commands of this sociopath, this room (and all others) is adorned with this:

Such treachery!  It is nearly impossible to look at that and not feel compelled to send every cent contained in one's life savings.

Unfortunately for this person, Eks invented the practice of using hypnosis to calm a potential victim, so I am impervious to its use.

The Assassin next entered the "Chat Rooms" of the abode.  In this section, one may freely exchange ideas with others also inside of the abode.  At least this is what was promised.  Eks entered all four of the proposed electronic conversation areas and was not greeted by anyone.

The Assassin grew weary of continually being ignored, and decided to show the "Chat" area exactly who is the master of all web abodes.

All remaining hyperlinks lead either to a cryptic message commanding that Eks return in 48 hours, or a message stating that the requested room is nowhere to be located in this abode.  A diabolical trap meant to bewilder the internet surfer.

By this moment, Eks had decided that it was time to end the good times this abode was trying to promote.  Misdirection and randomly colored text do not make for fun for anyone but the sword wielding ninja who destroys the abode.

With no picture, or even a name of the creator of this abode, Eks decided to punish this female who is in some way connected to the abode because every time The Assassin remained to long in any one room, her face would show on the screen of my monitor.

And so ends another paltry challenge of an abode attempting to appeal to children.  It appears that to today's youth, impossible to decipher text and hyperlinks which go nowhere are what is "fun" and "happening."  It is for this reason that The Assassin shall now focus on eliminating today's youth.  While I focus on that task at hand, it is up to you, loyal Assassin Associates, to destroy the three areas known as Guestbooks for Eks.

Guestbook 1:  Examine - Slice
Guestbook 2:  Examine - Slice
Guestbook 3:  Examine - Slice

Of course, you may not have The Assassin's endurance so you may not be able to tackle all three, but you had best take care of at least one or you shall find yourself...

- Eks the Assassin

Got a site you'd like Eks to slice?  Send it to him!