People are fascinated by crap. I mean this in every sense, from the unbelievably prolific coprophalic humor that fascinates us as children to the virulent popularity of South Park and David Lynch productions.

I think this begins when we are children, when disgusting humor seems cutting-edge and fresh.  A seemingly endless amount of time is put into coming up with new ways to berate your friends with feces-related nicknames.  Perhaps we all start with something simple like "shithead," or "asshole," but its not long until we are coming up with gems like "You fecal producing automaton."

The fascination goes further however, and lasts, for many of us, well into our adult years.  My good friend Jason recently took to using the word "scat," the term scientists and naturalists use to describe the metabolic remains of animals.  Scat may also be used to refer to a style of jazz singing marked by the free use of syllabic sounds.  Jason's girlfriend Kelly considers herself a singer, and so Jason and I have recently enjoyed making fun of her with: "You sing scat, don't you Kelly?  Kelly is a scat singer."  What made it funny was that she knew we were not complimenting her on her jazzy stylings, but in fact we were saying: "You sing shit, don't you Kelly?  Kelly is a shit singer."

In high school, my friends and I took to using the term "bim."  This is the extended, sounded-out version of the term bowel movement, or B.M.  This term came around because my friend Matt's mother used it to refer to his shitting when he was a baby.  "Did you have a bim, Matty?"

My friends and I adopted the word to refer to anything foul.  Soon we were all using it to spice up our everyday speech, as in "You're full of bim," or "The movie was complete bim."  As happens with sniglets, the word became twisted and extended through usage until it had spawned a family of adjectives, such as "bimmy" or "bimmed."  When asked, "How was your date last night?" one might reply, "It was completely bimmed," which I think would translate to "shat upon."  We also sometimes used it as a verb, as in "to bim."

Even now, fecal humor still holds a somewhat reduced but still present appeal for me.  My roommate Matt (the same Matt whose mother unwittingly coined the term bim) and I have a game going where we suggest to each other possible names for new rock bands that he and I could create.  The idea is to think of a band name that is so ridiculous and off-the-wall that it becomes amusing.  My favorite of the recent ones is the suggested band "Shat," whose first album might be called "Past Tensity."

Some people's shit-based humor never really surpasses playground potty talk.  Take for example South Park.  This unbelievably popular--and totally inane--show made its greatest mark with the introduction of the character "Mr. Hanky," who is a talking piece of shit.  Upon first seeing this show, I would have thought that only people in the 10-14 year age range would be amused, but as it turns out the show has become a national hit, spawning, among other things, a full length movie, and a line of the most tasteless and utterly ugly clothing now featured in trailer parks and on homeless people around the country.

Some people consider themselves far too mature to be amused by anything as crass as potty humor, but for these lofty intellectuals there remains a way to stay grounded with their fecal fascinations, in the most socially acceptable way possible.  I am talking of course about those areas of pop culture that appeal to the would-be deep thinkers, and the utterly depressing teenage poets, clad in black and "walking alone," surrounded by fools and charlatans.

A prime example is found in the film and television productions of David Lynch.  This long-time producer of "crap noir" has been lauded by audiences across the country for his shocking and utterly bizarre creations.  I think Homer Simpson captured the Lynchian spirit best when The Simpsons spoofed Lynch's seemingly unending serial crap Twin Peaks.  In this episode, Homer is watching a scene in which a horse and a man are dancing in front of a stoplight.  Homer makes the remark, "Brilliant...I have no idea what's going on."

David Lynch films may not be feces as we know it in the toilet, but they are in many ways the partially digested remains of pop culture references and the kind of forced, artificial depth that saw the conviction and murder of "Romeo and Juliet" in a blur of neon and poorly-delivered Leonardo DiCaprio lines.

Yes, it seems, we never really escape our obsession with the disgusting.  We may have traded fart noises deftly made with a hand and an armpit for the subtleties of Kyle Mcloughlin's acting, but we are still up to our intellects in crap.

- Micah