Salutation, Assassin Associates.  Eks has been away for far too long.  December of course brings many requests for wanton mutilation and this brings The Assassin directly into the Valentine's Day rush where many scorned lovers contract my services in order to recreate certain grisly massacres.  After much work, Eks decided to take a brief hiatus in Honduras.  Several inadvertent but not unwelcome beheadings later, I have returned.  The electronic transmissions were plentiful, so Eks thought it would be a good idea to begin his important work once again.

The first assignment awaiting The Assassin's expertise was an abode named x_paula_x.  From the very first moments of viewing this, it is clear that "amateur" is not a strong enough word.  Or is this the case?  The first room presents the message "Updated Regularly," yet closer inspection would reveal that this is not a truthful statement.

The Assassin dealt with this page in short order.

The main room of the abode featured a very sparse set of hypertext links.  This abode cannot possibly be updated regularly with so few items actually added to it.  What kind of devious trickery is afoot here?  Never fear, Eks will get to the bottom of this.

Again, victory feels empty against such an inferior foe.

The first section providing actual material was a chaotic arrangement of nonsensical words, possibly of secret design meant to dictate strike positions in a coded manner.  One thing is for certain, it is not something that was intended to be interesting in the slightest.

It is evident that it was also not intended to be challenging for warriors.

At this point, Eks decided to investigate the "archive," figuring that it would indeed contain the actual content of this particular abode.  However, this section contains only two hypertext links as well, indicating that it is not in any way an "archive," but rather just an extra couple of encrypted messages.

Deception and misdirection will never curry favor with me.

For some reason, the author of this abode, Paula, has some aversion to using the shift key, as every letter is lower cased throughout the abode.  This is obviously a ploy to make all hapless surfers slip into the realm of insanity.  Setting that diabolical treachery aside, the "nice boyz" page was yet another collection of words randomly and haphazardly thrown together in a manner understood only by space aliens.  Is it a code to some sort of invading armada, or simply a horribly failed attempt at entertainment?

It doesn't matter, for it is no more.

Paula made a correct decision in providing no images of herself.  However, this masked villain provided mediocre challenge for The Assassin's master skills.  As is clearly seen, he has been dealt with in an appropriate manner.

A nice and easy conquest is always a pleasurable way to return from a long respite.  With luck, the next victim will at least be decimated with a slight degree or resistance.  Even so, they will most assuredly end up...

- Eks the Assassin

Got a site you'd like Eks to slice?  Send it to him!