Oh my, my, MUTHAFUKKIN MY, DAWG!!! Da INTANATIONAL BULLSHIT AWARDZ
be just around DA CORNER and az uzual, I DONT BE SEEIN MY NAME ANYWHERE
ON DA BALLOTZ!!! Da GRAMMY COMMITTEE still be groupin up and doin
they best ta keep DA HOT MONEY TALENT UNDA WRAPZ, PEACE!!! Well I
be sayzin FUKK IT!!! Juzt so y'all HONKIEZ can be keepin up wit da
TRIPPIN AZZ SHIT of da FAGGOT SUIT PARADE I be tellin y'all who GONNA BE
DA WINNAZ!!! Even though they be LOZAZ!!!
Best Song Written for Visual Media - "Brown Sugar Original Soundtrack"
Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwww YEAH!!! Aint nuthin mo FLY AND FRESH AND HIP
HOP FLOPPIN like sum supa sweet BROWN SUGA!!! This here be DA SOUNDTREK
from dat supa hot movie DA NEVAENDING STORY o sum shit, I dont really be
do am fo knowin cuz durin da movie I WAZ TAGGIN ZAMBORFA FROM DA BACK!!!
Best Pop Collaboration with Vocals - Tony Bennett and k.d. lang,
"A Wonderful World"
Yo, CHOO CHOO, I dun been lookin at this CD COVA FO ALMOST TEN MINUTEZ
NOW and I cant do am be tellin WHICH ONE IZ WHICH!!! Neitha one of
theze FAGGOTZ be lookin much like da TONY BENNER I be rememberin from hiz
hit TV show "I BE SHOWIN YOU WHO DA BOZZ BE, BITCH"!!!
Best Traditional Pop Vocal Album - Michael Feinstein, "Michael Feinstein
and the Israel Philharmonic Orchestra"
Well dont this just be FIGURIN LIKE A FAGGOT GIRAFFE??? Since
everyone AND THEY COUZINZ MUTHA be knowin dat da whole MUZIC INDUSTRY BE
RUN BY DA WHITE MAN, it be figurin dat this award be goin ta one o them
JEWNEZE PEOPLE, STRAIGHT UP!!! They all be gettin tagetha and speaking
in they STRANGE FOREIGN LANGUAGE OF JEWTIN and nominatin THIS FUNKY FAGGOT!!!
This kind o shit almost be makin me want ta QUIT DA MUZIC INDUSTRY ONCE
AND FO ALL!!! Naw, dont be WORRYIN, I AINT GOIN NOWHERE!!!
Best Latin Jazz Alubm - Duduka Da Fonseca, "Samba Jazz Festival"
What iz this??? What, they just be MAKIN UP CATAGORIEZ NOW just
so dat EVERYONE BE GETTIN A GRAMMARY BUT ME??? I do be pretty sho
my GRANDMA HOT MONEY BE GETTIN ONE THIS YEAR, and she aint be uthin but
a FAT BITCH!!! Hey, dont you be talkin about my GRANDMA LIKE DAT!!!
What be next, KYKE JAP SPIC WOP LATIN FAGGOT CD O DA YEAR??? Probly
be goin ta MITCHELL FINESTEEN AGAIN!!!
Best World Music Album - Salif Keita, "Moffou"
DA FUKK??? FUKK Y'ALL, SALINE KEYSTA, aint NO ONE be callin DA
HOTTEST DJ/RAPPA O DA OLD MILLENIUM A MOFO!!! Betta hope I dont be
seein y'all when I HAZ MY GAT!!! AND DATZ ALL DA TIME, GARGOYLE!!!
Best Musical Album for Children - Tom Paxton, "Your Shoes, My Shoes"
Yo, this be sum FUKKED UP SHIT!!! This cat be rappin ON AND ON
about everybodyz SHOEZ AND SHIT!!! It remindz me o my SUPA HOT SINGLE
from a few yearz ago, "CLUBBIN HONKEYZ TA GET THEY REEBOKZ AND SHIT"!!!
Y'all may be rememberin dat IT DIDNT WIN DA GARMMY DAT YEAR NEITHA!!!
Best New Artist - Michell Branch, "The Spirit Room"
WHATZ UP, BOOTY BITCH!!! Y'all be da BEST NEW ARTIST DAT SUKKZ!!!
Afta DA HOT MONEY be havin hiz way wit y'all though, y'all aint gonna be
so NEW NO MO, JUST A UZED UP FAT BOOTY!!! Datz what y'all be callin
a WIN/WINNER SITCHUATION!!! One good thing be dat everyone who be
winnin this award be TURNIN UP DEAD A MONTH LATA wit a mysteriouz SMOKING
GAT wit HOT MONEY scrawled on it!!! They iz just tryin ta FRAME ME
THOUGH, WORD!!!
Album of the Year - Norah Jones, "Come Away with Me"
It be kinda hard ta tell if this be da CD O DA YEAR since datz too much
o a CLOSE UP ON DA BITCHZ FACE!!! I think it be PRETTY GOOD though
since it be gottin songs like "TURN ME ON" and "IVE GOTZ TA BE SEEIN Y'ALL
AGAIN" which be about wantin ta look at DA HOT MONEYZ PENGUIN SNAKE!!!
Awwwwwww yeah, DAT BE MAKIN SENSE!!!
BEST CD O ALL TIME DAT DA FAGGOTZ IN THE GRIMEYZ AINT NEVA GONNA
RECONIZE:
DJ Hot Money Smooth Mo Dee Daddy Ice Papa Smurf, "WORKIN OVATIME
IN DA BOOTY FACTORY"
This probly woulda been bein my BEST SELLIN CD O ALL TIME had it not
been fo sum INNERNET FAGGOT gettin hiz handz on it and givin away FREE
3PMZ on dat INNERNET FAGGOT SITE "KRAP-STAR" o whateva DAT SHIT BE CALLED
WHERE ALL DA INTANATIONAL HOMOZ BE GATHERIN TA BE FAGGOTZ!!! Dat
shit put me OUT O BIDNEZZ!!! But then I had my big CUMBACK DA NEXT
WEEK AND NOW I BE BIGGA DAN EVA!!! I be makin all my CDZ wit special
NO 3PM COPYRIGHT CIRCUITRATIONZ so dat THIS SHIT DONT BE HAPPNIN NO MO!!!
ANYWAY, TOPCAT, no matta how y'all be lookin at it AINT NO REAZON TA
WATCH DAT SHOW unless of course y'all be likin ta see da SUPA FLY HONIEZ
IN DA LOW CUT DRESSEZ!!! Awwwwwwwwww yeah, y'all KNOW I BE TAPIN
IT FO DAT!!!
- DJ HOT MONEY OUT!
Be sure to check out DJ
Hot Money Smooth Mo Dee Daddy Ice Papa Smurf's website. He's
assured us that it's "supa fine like Boone's Farm wine."
