Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww yeah, PICKLED PIPA!!!  Last week, dat dood DAMINAL be sendin me sum CRAZY AZZ WHACK FUNKY STYLE FRESH SHIT!!!  It be a link ta DIS SITE (y'all can be clickin DAT SHIT thankz ta my MAD INNERNET WEB SKILLZ!!!  No wait, ya gotta be clickin HERE, MUTHAFUKKAZ!!!)  At first I be do am fo seein dat it be sum SAFE-T FAGGOT and I be thinkin dat it be bein dat MILK-T FAGGOT who be doin dat song "GONNA SHOOT ME UP SUM COPZ AND SHIT"!!!  But it be turnin out dat it be sum SILLY MAD DEF CAT!!!  And I be meanin it be a REAL CAT!!!  He be DANCIN and SINGIN and RAPPIN and COOKIN UP A HOT PLATE OF OLD SKOOL BEATZ for DA KIDDIEZ OUT THERE!!!  Be checkin out this MASTA!!!

He be bein so FRESH dat hiz EYEZ BE ROLLIN, PEACE!!!  I just knew dat I be HAVIN TA CHECK THIS SHIT OUT ALL QUICK LIKE!!!

Right off da FUKKIN BAZE I be gettin hit wit sum HONKY KYKE JAP shit where they be askin me fo MY NAME AND ADDRESS AND SHIT!!!  This must be so dat they can be FINDIN ME ta buy my newest CD, "THUMPIN DAT WOOFER AND ALSO DA BOOTY TOO SUMTIMEZ"!!!  I just put FUKK Y'ALL MUTHAFUKKAZ and this shit be sayin OK HOT MONEY, JUST DON'T BE GETTIN DA GAT O NUTHIN!!!  I still be keptin da gat NEARBY JUST IN CASE, WORD!!!

Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww SNAP!!!  Dat bitch be SUPA FINE LIKE BOONEZ FARM WINE!!!  I be figurin dat she be WANTIN TA RIDE DA HOT MONEY LOVE BUS LATA ON IN DA SHOW!!!

But look at DAT SHIT!!!  She be ratha MAKKIN UP ON SUM HARRY PORTER LOOKIN MUTHAFUKKA!!!  Good thing I be keepin DA GAT ON HAND!!!

Chek out them SLICK AZZ MOVEZ, HOMEBOY!!!  I aint be seein nuthin dat good since VANILLA ICE CREAM be tourin wit hiz MAD POSSE, DA VILLAGE PURPLE!!!  He be so good it be lookin like there be TWO OF HIM, but I just be thinkin dat itz a CAMERA TRICK O SUMTHIN!!!

DA BOOTY BITCH be all UPTIGHT AND SHIT!!!  She startz ta be AKSIN ME ALL KINDZ O IMPOSSIBLE SHIT!!!  She be like "YO, WHERE SHOULD Y'ALL GO WHEN DA EKSVALATA BE GOIN TA DETROIT!!!  DA FUKK DAT BE MEANIN???  I didnt get nun o her queztionz right, I think she just be tryin ta TRAP ME INTA MARRIAGE O SUM SHIT!!!

I be tellin dat STONE COLD BITCH TA STEP OFF DA MONEY TAXI and da next thing I be knowin, DAT CAT BE STEPPIN IN MY TURF!!!  Dat be ok though, he can HAVE DA BOOK READIN BITCH!!!  I thought me and SAFE-P CAT COULD BE DOIN SUM RAP, so I be BUZTIN OUT DA ARSENAL!!!

Be safe on evelataz, BECUZ DEY MADE OF GLAZZ!!!
Cuz if y'all be dontin I be BUSTIN UP YO AZZ!!!
And if y'all dont be likin dat and WANT TA BLOW DA WHISSLE!!!
Y'all can SHINZZLE SHNOZZLE WOZZLE WOOZLE DOOZLE DIZZLE!!!

EVEN SAFE-C CAT BE LIKIN IT!!!  He started doin DA RUNNIN MAN LIKE A CRAZY MUG FLAME, YO!!!  Maybe we be goin on DA TOUR O DA CENTURY LATA once we can work out DA DETAILZ AND SHIT, STAY TUNED, DAWG!!!

By da way, I be doin a HOT MONEY EXCLUSIVE REMIX O DIS FIREY HOT SHIT!!!  Here be a SUPA SNEAKY PEEK...:

Y'all cant be WAITIN TA SEE DA REST, CAN Y'ALL FAGGOT PARADAZ???  Well y'all be havin ta, cuz I gotz ta be GOIN TA DA CLUB NOW!!!  Az me and SAFEY E BE SAYIN!!!

- DJ HOT MONEY OUT!

Be sure to check out DJ Hot Money Smooth Mo Dee Daddy Ice Papa Smurf's website.  He's assured us that it's "supa fine like Boone's Farm wine."