Women can do anything just as well or better than men. That's
why men and women don't compete against each other in sporting events.
Racism is a one-way thing, that's why whites are allowed to be given
derogatory names by blacks, but if the situation is reversed, the white
name-caller would be hanged, drawn and quartered.
I'm not racist or sexist in any way. As a white male, I don't
believe I am better than anyone of the opposite gender/colour. I
don't find it to be an issue. However, I don't feel there are equal rights
in the world today. Some black people and women would tend to agree,
but for different reasons.
I believe, in today's world, the odds are very much stacked against
the white male. In Britain, 7 out of 10 new jobs are given to women.
Our brilliant Foreign Secretary/Prime Minister Tony Blair has asylum seekers
higher up in his priorities than Citizens of the UK. Jump on me if
you will, but a recent nationwide I.Q. test proved that men are generally
smarter than women. The reason women do better in national exams
is that most of the examiners and writers of the exams are women, and the
way the question are asked are more in tune with a woman's brain.
Or so I have been told. I believe about 98% of asylum seekers are
merely lazy bastards. A vast minority may be genuine, but it's more
hassle than it's worth. Citizens of the UK are top priority.
Asylum seekers come second. Unless Great Britain was some kind of
flawless utopia, I don't think any immigrants should be taken in.
Hmm, this is getting a bit controversial, lets move onto some more mundane
stuff.
One of the worst things women do is censor stuff. I'm mainly talking
about adverts. Clearly women can't take a joke. Let's look
at some of the advertisements that women have banned.
The "It's not
for girls" Yorkie advert:
Alright, this is what happens in this advert: A woman walks into
a shop to buy a Yorkie, dressed as a man. The shopkeeper then tries
to catch the woman out, and eventually does so by telling her that the
blue of the wrappers brings out her beautiful eyes. He then snatches
the Yorkie back from here and a narrator cuts in saying, "Five big masculine
chunks of chocolate, Yorkie: it's not for girls!" in a really macho
voice. I found it pretty funny. Obviously, some frumpy lesbians
did not. I'd love a picture of the person who objected to this, it's
more than likely going to be a mulleted lesbian, and nothing's funnier
than them. We'll call said frumpy lesbian Gertrude, because Gertrude
is a funny name. They complained, and I've not seen the advert for
months.
You can just imagine the protest: "Women can eat chocolate just as well
as men or better!" I bet they feel really happy about themselves,
now that they've broken the oppression in the chocolate industry.
It kind of reminds me of Halle Berry's speech after winning the "Best
Actress" at the Oscars. She was acting like she'd brought world peace
and how this was a great achievement for her race, when in fact she'd won
an award in entertainment, which is ultimately the most meaningless things
when it comes down to it. I can't complain though, she thoroughly
deserved that Oscar, I'd like to thank The Academy for making such great
decisions year after year! I think I'll go and take a shower now...
The dreaded
Pot Noodle advert that featured the word "slag:"
The advert hasn't been banned, but they've cut out the bit saying "slag."
It's apparently something to do with a Pot Noodle being female, and being
oppressed by that male Snack Pot. He's a real bastard.
That damn Vauxhall
advert needlessly starring Ed Harris:
This has absolutely nothing to with anything, it just really annoys
me. First of all, if you're going to fork out for Ed Harris, at least
let him do what he does best; act insane. This advert is set in a
board meeting or a presentation or something, they could at least have
him murdering stuff and screaming and shit. But no, he just solemnly
stands there telling us how great this new Vectra is, and how it's an invention
all of it's own. It's amazing what technology can do these days,
it allows us to say absolute shit like that, and modern drugs can let you
keep a straight face. Truly amazing. PARALOX: does exactly
what it says on the tin!
Some Twinings
Iced Tea advert:
Basically this suggested that women couldn't have orgasms, and we know
this had a literal meaning and it certainly wasn't a lack of a sense of
humour on Gertrude's part.
So that's about it on adverts. There's not many jokey adverts
about ethnicity because that's a touchier subject since it, um, means two
shits.
Now don't get wrong, I do believe racism is an issue. Not for
me, but as a whole, it is certainly an issue. However, I get annoyed
when it is portrayed as a one-way thing, when there are many cases of racial
abuse where a white person is the victim. I've heard stories from
friends about how they've given a black person a friendly smile and they've
looked them up and down as if to say: "Why are you looking at me?
You white bastard!" Of course, that's not to say that's all black,
as I have many friends who are black. But there are many different
things, which are much worse.
Many killings in America of white people by black people because they
gotsta be representin'. Oh, and the whiteys be holdin' dem down.
Yes, that's feasible...
September the 11th. I won't go into that one.
That Three-month-old hospital those free-loading asylum-seekers destroyed
for no apparent reason.
And so forth.
That's simply touching the surface reader(s), and I could make a few
examples of racism towards blacks, but it's too strenuous on my precious
fingers, which must be conserved for important stuff I do when I'm not
writing for this site...
Sorry if I offended anyone, please email
me with an intelligent response, or you could just call me "faggot"
a lot and say "fuck" every other word. That works too.
...God knows if I was supposed to put it here, but my brain is but a
pebble compared to the Ultimate male, Danimal's!
- The Guv'nor
