Hola, todos de mis amigos, and welcome to me once again, bién!  Hace muchas meses since I have last written anything, and for that lo siento mucho!  Pero I have been muy ocupado with much of the world's events of late.  Mainly, with most gringos now pretending to actually be patriotic, they are all too busy putting up flags and pictures and enticing bumper stickers with fun filled catch phrases and pictures of cartoon characters urinating on automobile logos that sus casas son easy pickings for the would be thief!  It is like the old phrase says, "a girl with no hat will dance in the hall of fire extinguishers for certain."

Do not for a moment believe that my temporary absence is in any way due to an actual improvement in the gringos' way of speaking.  No es verdad, muchcahos.  In fact, with September 11 growing ever closer, my peaceful life must otra vez be disrupted by the incorrect frase "one year anniversary."  Recuerda, puercos, an anniversary can only take place once a year so it should only be "first anniversary" or "primer aniversario" if you are interested in hablando in the correct language of educated people, español.

But no more de esto charlando, let's get to las preguntas idiotas!

Im 16 and I lived in guatemala for a year and I learned Spanish pretty well.  I have asked sooooooo many hispanics this question and have never gotten a decent answer (imagine that).  You kind of seem like a smart ass so lets hear what you got to say.  Why do latinos abbreviate Estados Unidos like ee.uu?  I dont see why they repeat the e and the u.  When I ask them, most of them claim its because theres "muchos estados".  So why arent there 50 e's and 50 u's???  Its a little retarded.

Primero, only the lowest of the low class hispanic (which is still infinitely mejor que the best gringo) ever usa dos e's y u's.  However, to answer your question, the reason is porque "estados unidos" is plural, they pluralize the abbreviation también.  Por favor, remember that this is not the correct way at all, it is just the rationale behind those who do it that way.  And may I add that living in Guatemala seems to have made your inglés much better than most gringos.  For instace, you correctly used an apostrophe when discussing the letras "e" y "u" and put the parentheses on the right side of the period.  Unfortunately, you missed the apostrophes for your contractions and put the quotation marks on the wrong side of the period.  Remember this example para ayuda:

WRONG:  Then my boss said "I cant keep you on the payroll, sorry".
RIGHT:  Then I said "Stick 'em up, gringos, or you won't see mañana."

i read your rant about people fucking up not so hard things, just because people have no fucking attention spans anymore. Well here is what i hate......Mexicans. I live in indiana, but we have a Mexican side of town. We smartasses call it little mexico. har har........not. Thats not the thing that pisses me off, well it is but thats not all. There is a mexican TV station, news papers, grocery store, and most of the resturants have a mexican menu....now i could understand if it was texas or some state remotely close to mexico. BUT I LIVE IN INDIANA FOR CHRIST SAKE. its not in a corn field either, its a suburb of indianapolis. it also makes me mad when i got to a fast food resturant and the damn cashier can barely understand what i say, or i can't understand them. it pisses me off. how bout you?

¡Ay caramba, que lástima!  This is possibly the worst inglés I have ever seen en mi vida!  No observance of the capitalization rules, run on sentences, fragmented senteces, misspellings, improper spacing, and this is all within the first tres words.  Ja, ja, I only kid, it takes longer than that but it is still una disastre completa.  Once I had mi pequeño perro Pepito translate this into a civilized lengua, I was able to see that tu tienes much anger toward the mejicanos of your town.  Entiendo que most gringos are very jealous of our superior looks, physique, and intellectual capacity, but do not let that deter you from following every gringo's dream of becoming a welfare recipient.  ¡El sueño sigue siendo dentro alcance!  The fact that your state of Indiana is por fín allowing the correct language of español slip into its every day use shows that at long last you have joined the ranks of those who have evolved.  Soon you may stop having tails as well, amigo!  Truly a time of rejoice for both man and beast when that day arrives.

Bandito, Enjoyable commentary.  I must mention that the name of your country, Mexico, is not spelled differently even if you pronounce it correctly.  You have made a gringo-like mistake, muchacho.  You have a great site, even for a Mecksican!

Sí, señor, you are correct, it is a great site.  It is bringing education to the masses of monos who live in los estados unidos like the great cancer.  One day, somewhere, there just may be a gringo that will say a sentence properly.  Ja, ja, I kid again, this nunca va a happen.  It is like my great grandfather, Enrico Conchillo Palabras said with his dying breath, "the life of the cockroach will rival the accordian on the rooftop."  Nobody knows que eso significa, but the spirit of it carries on anyway.

To answer your question, the spelling of the greatest country on Earth is "Mejico."  I do not believe I have ever spelled it any other way.  Considering that we invented el nombre del país, we would know how to spell it.  Remember, if one group of people spells a word one way and los gringos spell it another, it is siempre verdád que the first group is correct.

It's pretty hard for me to understand when I should use what or which.

What + noun
Which + noun

What is your name?
Which is your name?

This is one of the more intelligent preguntas que I have received.  "Qué" and "cuál" son very similar in meaning, but still different enough to mention.  The most obvious difference, obviously, is the spelling.  They are spelled almost completely differently.  Ja, ja, I am on a roll today!  Many rounds of tequila are sure to be to blame for this, amigos, I can tell you that much without the slightest hesitation!  No, señor, to be serious for un momento, the difference is small but muy importante, much like the appendage between the gringos' legs!  "What" is used when asking for an answer which could be most anything.  "Which" is used when asking for a specific choice from a finite list of options.  For this reason, in your ejemplo, "what is your name" is the correct frase porque the answer could be most anything.  Here are a few more ejemplos for you to study and them immediately forget:

WRONG:  Which is the weather like today?
RIGHT:  What is the problem with your brain that made you say something that sounds so stupid?
WRONG:  What shirt are you going to wear to the Eyeball Festival?
RIGHT:  Which knife will you use to carve the gringo's torso?
WRONG:  Which day would you like to go to the baseball game?
RIGHT:  What day would you like to go to beat gringos with baseball bats on?

You see how simple this is, pendejo?  This should be a very easy one to remember.  When in doubt, "what" is usually an acceptable choice.  También, some of my more advanced estudiantes will notice that I ended the last ejemplo with a preposition, something which is the automatic mark of the burro!

I hope that this provides some more help to the struggling masses of gringos who have found that the easiest solution to being completely uneducated is to simply not care.  I will not be gone as long this time, tirones, so until next time, adiós!

- Señor Palabras