A very fond hello to my Assassin Associates.  My apologies for my uncharacteristic lapse in slayings, but Eks has been quite busy of late, tracking down a client who felt he did not need to pay for my unrivaled services.  Needless to say, he is now not only a former client, but a former living being.  Upon my return, I was pleasantly surprised with many electronic transmissions for the unparalleled services of The Assassin.

The first of these requests came from a person with much to say indeed!  After dispensing with the formalities, he listed several web abodes.  The first on his list was a den of true evil.  Entitled simply "My very own web site," the abode is a clear cut guide in how one should never approach abode creation of any kind.  The main page boasted a bizarre diary of events, none of which involved any murder and/or mutilation.  What would be the point of a diary if not to outline the thrill of massacring thousands?  Also, there was what appeared to be a university class schedule.  Why would anyone believe that Eks cares for their class schedule?  There were also hypertext links which, when clicked, rather than taking you to different rooms of the abode simply attempted to store a "doc" file onto one's hard drive in what is no doubt a plot to install potentially lethal viruses on all who visit.  And speaking of all who visit...

Even the youngest of children can see through this rather elementary ruse.  There is absolutely no way that any internet surfers have viewed this abode, much less over three hundred.  A diabolical plot unfolded by Eks.

These unusual markings, which The Assassin believes may be a secret code or perhaps the chemical compound for cyanide adorned the page as well.  Perhaps you Assassin Associates know what they mean and can put them to good use.

The only thing I put to use was my cunning skill.

In another twist of unforeseen circumstance, the entire rest of the abode was devoted solely to picture galleries, showcasing what are no doubt total strangers' photographs that this maniacal deviant pretends are his friends.  Beneath each stomach turning photograph of discontents doing stupid things were captions.  Perhaps they are meant to be amusing, but The Assassin saw only rage when viewing them.

First up was a comically overweight fellow who gave the appearance of not bathing for several months at least.  Though the challenge of getting close enough to him to strike without vomiting uncontrollably was difficult, Eks conquers all.

The next to fall were two hoodlums up to all sorts of unknown mischief.  Just before striking, they both decided to signal exactly how many breaths they had left before becoming broken corpses.

Two sleeping women are always easy prey for the master mercenary.  While they were pleasing on the eyes, I believe my work has only improved them.

Eks tries not to judge others on their lifestyle, but seeing these two clearly homosexual pedophiles made me enjoy their murders possibly more than any of the others.

This person was feeling quite content with himself before my arrival.  He had just gotten off work at his low paying gasoline service station attendant job, and had recently procured what appears to The Assassin's trained eye to be his magic genitalia enhancer.  Too bad he never got to use it.

Sadly, this fellow (believed to be the creator of this catastrophic abode) looked like this before Eks even did anything.  The simplest defeat yet for me.

Another tries, another fails.  However, this time around it is a double victory for The Assassin because now I shall be stalking and eliminating the rapscallion who sent me the hyperlink to this abomination and colossal waste of everyone's time.  Make not the same mistake, or you shall find yourself...

- Eks the Assassin

Got a site you'd like Eks to slice?  Send it to him!