Yo, yo, everybody out there in DA CYBA CITY!!!  I know how it be, Y'ALL MUTHAFUKKAZ be out in yo local BREST BYE and be thinkin "I DUZNT BE KNOWIN WHAT CDZ TA BE BUYIN!  I sho do be wishin dat SUMONE WOULD BE TELLIN ME, GRIDDLE"!!!  Well datz why I BE HERE!!!  I know dat y'all just end up buyin my newest STREET JAM "BULLETZ IN DA HOOD, DA HOOD O MY SWEATSHIRT"!!!  But here be DA COUNTDOWN ANYWAY, WORD!!!

Yo, aint theze catz DEAD O SUM SHIT, PEACE???  If not, I needz ta be GETTIN DA GAT AND DOIN DA BIZNESS ONCE AND FO ALL!!!  O maybe they be recordin FROM DA GRAVE???  Just tryin ta RIPOFF TWOPACK OCOORS and all hiz CDz dat he be puttin out PAST MURDEM!!!  Dat be meaning "AFTA GETTIN SHOT BY PUNK ASS BITCHEZ" fo all y'all HONKIEZ OUT THERE, STRAIGHT UP!!!

What da FUKK???  What this week be, a WHERE THEY BE NOW episode o SUM SHIT???  ORISIS aint be havin a CD since DA 60z o so I be thinkin, AND THIS ONE AINT NO BETTA, CANDLESTICK!!!

I think sumone be playin a JOKE ON ME, DAWG!!!  COUNTIN CARRZ aint been around fo like TEN YEARZ when they did dat song "ME AND MY SUPA SMALL HONKY JOHNSON" o whuteva dat FAGGOT SHIT BE CALLED, now we suppozed ta believe they be havin a NEW CD???  I aint buyin it!!!  Kinda like how no one be BUYIN THIS CD!!!  ANUTHA DJ HOT MONEY JOKE OF DA OLD MILLENIUM, POLECAT!!!

And here be this MUTHAFUKKA SPOLIN DA LIST!!!  Yet anutha NOT MONEY WNNABE, this HOMO-LIKE FAGGOT aint neva dun NUTHIN GOOD IN HIZ WHOLE LIFE!!!  Everything this MUTHAFUKKA be touchin BE TURNIN TA SHIT O SUM SHIT AND SHIT!!!  Dont be buyin this CD, not like Y'ALL CRAKKAZ needed me ta tell you dat, EVERYONE HATEZ EVERYTHING THIS GUYZ EVA BE DUN DID DOIN!!!

Fasta than a SPEEDING CANNON, it be...

Awwwwwww yeah, ONE O DA GREATZ!!!  JEFFY JAZZ and DA FROSH PRINTZ be mixin it up CRAZY FRESH STYLE wit this CD, A MUST HAVE!!!  They be startin wit "Girlz aint be nuthin but bitchez" about how all bitchez be HOZ!!!  Then later on they be DEALIN DA REVERSALZ wit "Guyz aint be nuthin but bitchez" which also be about how all BITCHEZ BE HOZ!!!  Too bad dat aint no one heard nuthin from theze two SUPA STARZ afta this CD!!!  They could have been da next LIBERAMI O SUM SHIT!!!

This must be one o them jokez where y'all be sayin "GUESS WHAT???  It be APRIL FOOL DAY, FOOL"!!!  Then y'all get da gat AND WATCH DA GOOD TIMEZ ROLL!!!  Theze be like sum JAPOREAN DUDEZ singin all kind o shit about ROCK AND ROLL, o LOCK AND LORR!!!  They be all like "OH, ME WANTY LOCKEE ARR NIGHT RONG, KOWABUNGA"!!! and shit, it be PRETTY FUNNY!!!  They be tellin me this be a NEW RELEAZE, but I be do iz wuz dun do thinkin dat it be MUCH OLDA, LIKE FRUM DA EIGHTIEZ AND SHIT, HANRAHAN!!!

Sumthin be tellin me afta listenin ta this dat DA FREEDUM this dude be talkin bout be FREEDUM FROM DA CLOZET!!!  Like, he FINALLY CAME OUT!!!  Dat meanz he be GAY AZ A FAGGOT fo those of y'all dat dont speak DA LANGUAGE O DA STREETZ LIKE I DUZ, WORD!!!

Awwwwwwwwwwwww yeah, this shit be WHERE IT BE!!!  I be puttin this on and sayin "you know, this dude JACK CLOUSTIER wuz on FULL HOUZE and also knowz about DIVIN... MURF DIVIN"!!!  Then da chickz let me HIT EM FROM DA BACK!!!  They be luvin dat SWEET SEX TALK FROM DA MASTA LIKE DAT, PEACE!!!

And now a SNEAKY PEAK fo next WEEKY WEEK:

Yo, this must be bein anutha APREL FOOL JOKE on DA WHOLE WORLD, cuz aint no one be believin dat this dude HAZ ANY FRIENDZ!!!  He must be dat one dude who be gottin hiz TRUOZA SNAKE chopped off be hiz CRAZY ASS BITCH O SUM SHIT!!!  I dont be recommendin this, I be heardin dat there be PICTAZ OF DA ORDEAL INSIDE LIKE A MUTHAFUKKA!!!

I be thinkin dat most o theze CDZ just be a joke o sum shit, but maybe y'all be chekkin it out TA MAKE SHO, PLAYZ!!!  Until next time, PEACE UP, WORD IN, AND STRAIGHT DOWN, AWWWWWWWWWW YEAH!!!

- DJ HOT MONEY OUT!

Be sure to check out DJ Hot Money Smooth Mo Dee Daddy Ice Papa Smurf's website.  He's assured us that it's "supa fine like Boone's Farm wine."