Last week I did another one of my compelling and hard hitting What's My Beef articles, suitable for reading or for teaching non-English-speaking people the way a person should never talk or write.  It was about how crappy schools are becoming and how they're turning children into even bigger tubs of goo than 18 straight hours of video games and Fluffernutters have already done by softening every policy and cutting back on the discipline.  At the end, I asked for people's opinions in my usual halfhearted way.  I believe I said something along the lines of "please write in with your ideas, or don't.  Or just send me hate mail, that works too."

Much to my surprise, I got several responses within just a few short hours.  Many of them were of the "you're a dummy poopoo face" variety, but snuck in amongst those were genuinely intelligent commentaries.  I thought I'd share a few of those with you in an effort to show that--and no one is more shocked by this than I am--people out there actually agree with me once in a while.

The first one was from mine own sister.  Well it really wasn't the first one, but I wouldn't be much of a brother if I didn't put it first.  As I said in some article a while back that was so important I don't even remember what it was, she's a grade school teacher.  Not a day goes by that I don't feel some level of pity/deep respect for her because of that fact either, let me assure you.  I can't stand being around kids for thirty consecutive seconds, I don't know how she can do it all day every day.  Anyway, she had some things to say about the subject.

I read your article about schools and found it fascinating.  I have this to say in defense of schools.  Most teachers work very hard, and do not get a whole lot of credit.  The general opinion is that we only work from 9 - 3 and get 3 months off.  I would love to work from 9 - 3.  The fact is I work a lot more than that (hell, my meetings alone are about 40 hours a week).  Not to mention that I work late nights for open houses and orientation night.  I also go away on a three day trip with my students.  Imagine working 24 hours a day for three days with your co-workers, much less 20 something 11 year olds.  Also, most of these shitty ideas about no tag, etc. come from parents.  However, you always get some weirdo teachers with new-wave ideas.

Here are two things I've run into being a teacher that I don't agree with at all.  The last district I worked for had a policy that if a student were receiving special services of any kind (ESL, bi-lingual, or learning disability), we could NOT give them anything lower than a C.  It was their philosophy that these children need extra attention, and if they failed, we were not servicing them enough.  It did not matter if these children did not do their work.  It did not matter if they did do their work, but poorly.  I fought that one.  I explained we were teaching these children that their success was not their responsibility.  We were also teaching these children that grades were a farce.  I would actually have to adjust their grades until it was actually a C.  That meant changing all of the F's they had received to C's.  What's the point of coming to school at all?  I also asked the district if they really acted shocked when the paper prints some article about a student graduating from high school who cannot read.  I told them we were the ones letting this shit happen.  Needless to say, I was shitcanned after my first year there.

At the district I'm at now, administration (principals and higher) are afraid to discipline anyone too severely.  I could not actually punish a student until they admitted to doing something.  Well, I'd never admit to shit either.  No kid does.  I pointed out that thankfully the government doesn't adopt the same attitude, or the jails would all be empty.  It didn't matter if a teacher caught a kid doing something.  If the kid didn't admit it, they wouldn't be punished.  Also, severe behavior resulted in minor punishment.  For example, a co-worker of mine had a child who beat kids up daily.  His punishment?  Nothing.  Occasionally the kid would be sternly talked to, but what kid cares about that.  I finally got fed up.  I NEVER sent kids to the principal and would punish without letting the higher ups know what I was doing.  Guess what, that kid stopped beating kids up.  Also, about two years ago a child brought lighter fluid and matches to school.  She bragged on the bus of her plan to light the teacher's desk on fire.  She even had the times the teacher would be out of the room to do it.  Her punishment?  She had to get counseling.  COUNSELING!!!  She should have had charges pressed against her and been expelled from the school.  This girl, by the way, was in second grade when this happened.  Imagine what she is doing now.

Those are just two examples of things the school systems have changed for the worse.

Also, though I say this all the time, let me once again remind you that you are the best brother a girl could ever ask for.  From your quick wit to your super fit physique, it is a genuine pleasure to have you as a blood relative.

The next email came from my buddy Derek.

I can't find anything on a quick search, but I remember hearing that some schools would not recognize a class valedictorian because it might lower the morale of students with a lower GPA. God forbid these retards feel bad about that D+ in Band. Shoulda spent less time smoking pot.

This next one is really a good one.  Corey seems to have a bit of anger in him...

One nation under God.  Father of the year candidate Michael Newdow, a California Physician and Atheist has concluded that the line "under God" is offensive and harmful to his eight year-old daughter.  In an effort to "protect" his child, he has, in the American tradition, taken his case to court.  This court, founded on Judeo-Christian values and sense of justice, staffed by judges sworn in with hand on bible, paid in United States legal tender which bears the phrase "in God we trust," has decided that Mr. Newdow has a point and has banned the evil phrase.

Now, by no means am I a foaming-at-the-mouth fundamentalist Christian, but What the Fuck!!!  Has he nothing better to occupy his time?  I'm sure he could be swindling my HMO or something. Perhaps Mr. Noonan would like to take the phrase "I swear by Apollo" out of the Hippocratic Oath?

I'm all for protecting your kids; I'm also all for beating their bloated asses when necessary.  It seems that most parents are more concerned about their child's self-esteem than whether or not they behave like rational people.  Protecting is more about child molesters, and less about Tag.  Have you ever stopped to think that your little slice of heaven might learn something about life by having his spleen rearranged by a dodge ball (by the way, we used real leather volleyballs when I was a kid-you pussies)?  He might learn that Mommy and Daddy aren't always going to be around to stop things from happening and that he needs to start thinking for himself.  Do you honestly believe that this eight year-old girl came to her dad and said that she was disturbed by the context of "God" in the pledge, or was this more about dads fifteen minutes with Katie Couric?  Of course this little girl doesn't care about this; she's more worried about being IT at recess.  Stay up nights worrying about the punk in the metallic pink Honda Civic that is one day going to show up to take your precious to the hump-fest known as the prom.

What kind of place are we trying to make here?  Protect your kids from adults that want to fuck or kill them.  Take the Playstation and Twinkies out of your kid's hand, beat their ass for no reason other than "you were bound to do something," put them outside with a (leather) dodge ball and teach them that life is full of disappointments.  Now, haul your fat ass outside, stand next to your SUV, admire the sameness of your suburban cocoon, turn off the cell phone, take a deep breath, place your hand over your cold, dead heart, and slowly say; "I pledge allegiance..." You do know all the words, right?

The last one came from "Samurai Sam," or at least that's what he called himself...

Well what the hell is up with these teletubbie things? They dance around and talk in tongues and worship the sun, which I may add is a baby's head. If I had a little shit running around my place I sure as hell wouldn't let it watch this god forsaken show. I wouldn't want the poor kid to grow up thinking that when it grows older its going to run around all day and talk in tongues and worship the sun. There is not truth in this show and that's what kids need to day. Truth should be delt to a kid as soon as it walks, because if a child learns early right and wrong and all that junk it will turn out to be a tolerable human being. I'd rather let my 3 year old watch American Pie than teletubbies, there is more truth in American Pie that that delusional show.

- Danimal