It's been far too long since I did an installment of everyone's favorite look at The Transformers.  Well, maybe "everyone" isn't quite the right word.  It should probably be "me and only me," but what the shit?  The bottom line is that here's another one, so enjoy.  Or don't, it really doesn't matter to me.

Megatron decides to try coming up with a plan that actually works for a change.  First he recruits Dr. Archeville, a mad scientist, to invent some "hypno-chip" which allows him to control any human being.  The test subject is Sparkplug.  After making Sparkplug a mindless slave, no one really notices any difference.  However, Megatron then builds a super gigantic Space Bridge to transport the whole planet of Cybertron into Earth's orbit.  Once it's there, he plans to have his slave race of humans who only wear blue jeans and tan shirts harness the energy created by the destruction of Earth.  As the episode ends, Cybertron comes across the Space Bridge and Optimus shits a brick.

"Let's see if they can scan this!" - Optimus to Bumblebee after reading his "New Yorker's Book of Comebacks."

• At the beginning of the episode, the Autobots drive to India by using some hydrofoils, which allow them to travel on water.  However, they drive well into the ocean before activating them.
• Speaking of which, by my clock it takes them roughly four seconds (or 70 quintillion astroseconds) to drive to India.  Man, those hydrofoils sure are fast!
• And naturally, once they get to India, they save some guy's palace by racing in and totally demolishing it.  What heroes!
• As usual, after insulting the intelligence and capabilities of humans to no end, Megatron requires the help of one to succeed.
• After Sparkplug is kidnapped, Wheeljack says they need a plan to get him back.  Prowl says he has one, and everyone transforms and rolls.  Too bad no one ever waits to hear what the plan is.
• After going under the influence of the hypno-chip, Sparkplug shows some remarkable strength.  He knocks over Optimus Prime with one little shove that totally defies all known laws of Physics.
• At one point, Megatron infiltrates the Autobot base and is just about destroy them when Spike releases some fire retardant foam on the Decepticons, rendering them inoperable.  Huh?  First of all, why would the Autobots use a foam that could do more harm than good?  Second of all, how can this foam hurt them?  In this episode we see that they can function quite well under water, what gives with the foam?  And finally, how come the foam only seems to hurt the Decepticons and not the Autobots as well?
• Those Decepticons must have Martha Stewart or Bob Vila on their team.  They constructed a Space Bridge large enough to transport all of Cybertron to Earth despite having no energy or materials.  Amazing!
• At the end, Megatron thwarts the Autobots by surrounding himself with human slaves, knowing the Autobots won't fire on him then.  The thing is, where'd all these guys come from?  The Decepticons didn't kidnap them, Dr. Archeville didn't kidnap them.  I guess Sparkplug went on a recruiting mission.
• And also, the slaves are all released from a building which is nowhere near big enough to hold them all.
• Setting aside the fact that somehow the Autobots never noticed this enormous Space Bridge before, when they do discover it they learn that its apex extends far outside of our galaxy.  Then, when it's activated, the apex barely even extends past the Earth.

CHANGED PREMISES

• Sideswipe suddenly talks with Prowl's voice in this episode.
• Cybertron, previously shown to be pretty big, now isn't even a fraction of the size of our moon.  I wonder how the hell all those Autobots and Decepticons managed to live on it.

ANIMATION FLUBS

• Right at the beginning of the episode, the Decepticon jets land in India.  When they do, Thundercracker and Skywarp switch places.  Luckily though, they keep their voices in the right position when Thundercracker speaks with Skywarp's voice.
• Then, as they bust into the palace, they all switch places.  They move pretty fast I guess.
• When we first see Dr. Archeville, he has two normal arms.  Then, for the rest of the episode he has one normal arm and one robotic arm.
• During the battle at the palace, Skywarp and Thundercracker switch places just before escaping.
• When Shockwave talks to Megatron, he leans back but his shadow stays in the "leaned forward" position.  Honestly, this might have been the same shot used in "Transport to Oblivion."  I don't know and I don't care enough to go back and check.
• After trying to fix Ratchet, Sparkplug walks away and shows off his amazing body control by freezing completely still mid stride for the rest of the scene.
• After showing off a bit, Sparkplug then goes to fix Optimus Prime.  When he gets there, Ratchet tells him Prime is fine.  Just two seconds earlier, Ratchet was fixing Sunstreaker.  Now suddenly it's Prowl.
• Spike notices that his dad has sabotaged Teletran I when he trips over an open panel.  In the shot just prior to his fall, the panel wasn't open.
• When the fire retardant foam o' mystery falls, Thundercracker actually turns into Skywarp right before our eyes.
• As is standard Autobots attack strategy, all kind of Autobots are suddenly at the Space Bridge site that weren't with them when they left.
• Sparkplug asks Spike "Are you--" and abruptly cuts off as if Spike interrupts him.  The trouble is, Spike doesn't say anything.  Well, maybe he does.  The camera cuts to him and his mouth is moving, but nothing's coming out.

- Danimal