Awwwwwwwwwwww YEAH!!!  It be lookin like itz time fo anutha installment o DJ HOT MONEY SMOOTH MO DEE DADDY ICE PAPA SMURFZ hot lookz at DA NEW MUZIC OUT THERE!!!  Buckle yoself inta DA ROLLA COASTA OF FLY ASS GROOVEZ and be ready fo SUM FRESH SHIT, BEANTOWN!!!

Yo, lookz like we be startin off wit ANUTHA MISPRINTED TYPO ERROR, DAWG!!!  They must have been do am be did run out o room on da side o da CD, becuz itz missin da part where it be sayin "IZ FO SUMONE TA BUY ONE O MY CDZ JUST ONCE"!!!  Well Jim, Y'ALL BE GOTTIN YO WISH!!!  I be boughtin a copy, and now ALL I BE WANTIN iz a GARBAGE CAN TO PUT IT IN, STRAIGHT UP!!!  And what be up wit him callin me a MOONEY???  Typical FAGGOT HONKEY KYKE SPIC, callin out DA RACIST HATE SPEECH!!!

Awwwww YEAH, HELICOPTA!!!  This here be one o da FIVE SUPA HOTTIEZ from dat group EN VOGUE dat had dat hit "I BE WANTIN IT DAT WAY, FIRE HYDRANT"!!!  Her real name be LITTLE KIMMIE!!!  But when she BE BUSTIN OUT ON HER OWN, all she could do wuz be writing SILLY FAGGOT CHURCH MUZIC!!!  Yo, I be havin ta tell this bitch ta give me A SERMON ON DA MOUNT, AWWW YEAH, DAT BE MAKIN SENSE TA Y'ALL!!!

This here be ONE MAJA DISAPPOINTMENT, KETCHUP!!!  I be thinkin I could be playin this FO DA HONIEZ and be like "Yo, Frambeefa, y'all be havin SUM PROBLEMZ if y'all don't be TAKIN OFF DA SHOEZ AND DA SHIRT"!!!  And she be like "ANYTHING FO YOU, HOT MONEY STUD TRACTOR"!!!  But instead it just be COUNTRY FAGGOT SHIT dat makez DA HONIEZ want ta be KICKIN Y'ALL IN DA FEED BAG, MISTA ED!!!  If I be seein KEVIN CHESTNUT any time soon, I BE GETTIN DA GAT ON HIZ FAGGOT ASS!!!

JUMPIN THROUGH HOOPZ, it be...

Yo, aint nuthin be gettin DA CROWD ROCKIN at da BIRTHDAY PARTIEZ like when I be PUMPIN OUT DA LEIF GARRETT FO DA HONIEZ!!!  Hey, OLD BITCHEZ BE NEEDIN HOT MONEY LUV TOO!!!  I think this cat uzed ta be on DA BRADY BUNCH O SUM SHIT!!!

I have ta be guessin dat theze dudez should have CHECKED WIT ME befo they NAMED THIS CD!!!  Numba one, AINT NOBODY ANYWHERE be likin dat FAGGOT TRANCE SHIT, WORD!!!  And NUMBA THREE, ASK DA HONIEZ, I be producing LOTZ O SPARKZ, but it aint wit NUTHIN SMALL!!!  Shit, itz SO BIG da honiez be nicknamin it EXCAVALIER afta DA SWORD in dat STORY ABOUT DA HOBBIT, PEACE!!!

Herez DA PATENTED METHOD FO GETTIN HONIEZ:  1. get this cd, 2. go up ta DA HONIEZ and be like "YO, y'all want ta listen ta TALL PAUL'S BACK & FORTH while y'all go BACK AND FORTH ON MY TALL PAUL"???, 3. throw out this CD becuz DA HONIEZ be runnin thinkin Y'ALL GOT AIDZ IF Y'ALL BE GOTTIN THIS GAY MANZ BIBLE CD!!!  GUARANTEED SUCCESS, FREE WILLY!!!

Herez ANUTHA GOOD METHOD WIT DA HONIEZ!!!  Tell them dat y'all be havin a BLAZIN ARROW datz BLACKALICIOUZ!!!  They be ALL OVA DAT LIKE FLIEZ ON A CANDLE!!!  Then play da song on this HOT JAM "Itz Going Down" and ask them if it be GIVIN THEM ANY IDEAZ!!!  Y'all be HEARIN IT HERE FIRST, YO!!!

Lookz like we be gottin SUM FINE ASS BITCH ta cloze out DA COUNTDOWN, URKEL!!!  This bitch obviously STOLE DA TITLE of da CD frum my HOT SELLING JAM SESSION "DONT BE BEIN SOMEBODY DAT AINT NO ONE WITHOUT BEIN NOBODY TA SOMEONE DATZ NOBODY!!!  NOW LET ME SMACK DAT ASS!!!"  But since she be SUPA HOT FAT DOPE FRESH JUICY BOOTY, I be LETTIN IT SLIDE just this ONE TIME!!!  Maybe she be LETTIN ME SLIDE TOO, only it AINT GONNA BE JUST ONE TIME, AWWWWWWWWWWWWWW YEAH!!!

Herez a SNEAKY PEEK fo next WEEKY WEEK:

Now how many timez DO I BE HEARIN DAT, LIMESTONE???  Da HONIEZ alwayz be like "Yo, HOT MONEY, my booty duz ACHE 4 YOU"!!!  And I be like "AW YEAH???  Well...MERCERDITOS VERDELS"!!!  I dont know what dat be meanin, but DA HONIEZ BE LUVIN IT ANYWAY!!!

Not too much FUKKIN SHIT this week, but still NEEDZ SUM IMPROVEMENT, STRAIGHT UP!!!  When them SUIT WEARIN MUTHAFUKKAZ in da CORPORATE BIDNESS goin ta let me be PICKIN WHATZ RELEASED???  I be tryin ta cum up wit da answaz fo NEXT TIME, PEACE!!!

- DJ HOT MONEY OUT!

Be sure to check out DJ Hot Money Smooth Mo Dee Daddy Ice Papa Smurf's website.  He's assured us that it's "supa fine like Boone's Farm wine."