Yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, and ESPECIALLY YO!!! Y'all be thoughin
dat I wuz GONE, wuznt y'all??? Well, da truth be dat I done am be
wuz for to iz sendin my uzual bunch of INSIDE INFOMATION like only DA HOTTEST
DJ/RAPPA O DA OLD MILLENIUM can do it a few weekz ago, but DAMINAL WUZ
LIKE "Yo, HOT MONEY, yo SMOOTH ASS STYLE be too much FO OUR READAZ TA BE
HANDLIN! Also, we be lostin YO EMAIL AND SHIT!!!" Then I had
ta be like "ITZ GAT TIME, SUCKA!" Just like alwayz, DA WHITE MAN
be tryin ta HOLD ME DOWN!!! But I showed him be writin ANOTHA ONE
FO Y'ALL MUTHAFUKKAZ, AWWWWWWW YEAH!!!
Celine Dion, "A New Day Has Come"
Awww, lookz like be startin DA COUNTDOWN this week wit sumthing new:
TOTAL FUKKIN SHIT!!! Da least THIS BITCH could am be doin iz LOOKIN
SUPA FINE fo me, but all she be doin iz lookin like DA TIN MAN FROM DA
WIZ O SUM SHIT, OLD YELLA!!! On da plus side, there be sum song called
"NATURE BOY" about dat FAGGOT WRESLTA RICK OKASEK o whatever da fuk hiz
NAME BE BEIN!!!
Gomez, "In Our Gun"
And look what we be gottin HERE, ANOTHA DJ HOT MONEY RIP OFF!!!
This clearly be stolen from my NUMBA ONE CD called "YO BE LOOKIN IN MY
GAT, GOMEZ!!!" It wuz about SPPEDY GONZALEZ or sum shit like dat
FO DA LADIEZ!!!
Jessica Williams, "This Side Up"
Awww, yo, I be knowin ALL ABOUT THIS SHIT, WORD!!! I be like,
"Yo, JESSICAH WILLBURN, SHOW ME DA KOOCHIE!!!" And then she be like
"No sweat, HOT MONEY, just turn me THIS SIDE UP!!!" I be flippin
her like a TWO DOLLA SOMBRERO, ya'll KNOW what DAT SHIT BE MEANIN FO SHO!!!
The Old, Old Story, "Traditional Hymns in Modern America"
DA FUK THIS SHIT BE BEIN, PEACE??? Sum bunch of FAGGOTY GAY PEOPLE
WHO MIGHT BE GAY singin all kind of shit fo sum cat be named DA LORD!!!
I be thinkin dat they might be SINGIN ABOUT ME, YO!!!
Cummin throuigh DA BATHROOM WINDOW, it be...
DJ Hot Money Smooth Mo Dee Daddy Ice Papa Smurf's FUNKY HOT SUPAFLY
FLASHBACK HIT FAVORITE, YO!
NKOTB, "No More Games"
This wuz DA FIRST CD dat da SUPA HOT group NOBKT be puttin out!!!
It went ta NUMBA ONE on da PHAT ASS GROOVALICIOUS CHARTZ in only FO SECODNZ!!!
Obviously, they be STEALIN MY WHOLE CAREER, but at least it WUZ SMOOTH
AND DANGEROUZ and spoke out against PLAYIN MONOPOLY O SUM SHIT!!!
Robert Rudolph and the Family Band, "Live at the Wetlands"
Awwww yeah, this be a COLLECTION OF HIP HOPPIN BEATZ!!! Naw, I
just be kiddin, itz FAGGOT SHIT, SNOOPY!!! But once agin, DA INDUSTRY
BE RIPPIN ME OFF by stealin da name "LIVE AT THE WETLANDZ AND SHIT" from
my WORLD FAMOUS TOUR!!! It wuz called DA WETLANDZ becuz all da HONIEZ
BE DRIPPIN WET AFTA SEEIN ME PERFORM!!! Datz becuz I used ta SPARAY A GARDEN
HOSE INTA DA CROWD!!! I called t HOSE FO HOEZ!!! Theze guyz probably just
be callin it dat becuz they PLAYED IN A SWAMP O SUM SHIT!!!
Neil Young, "Are You Passionate?"
Yo ORPHAN ANNIE, if y'all wuz passionate befo, Y'ALL WONT BE AFTA THIS!!!
Sum OLD ASS DINOSAUR be singin a bunch of SHITTY ASS SHIT FO DA SHIT!!!
It just be like "RAAAAA!!! I BE OLD!!!! RAAAAA!!! I GOTZ
NO HONIEZ!!!" Who da fuk be wantin DAT SHIT??? NOT ME!!!
If y'all be wantin PASSION, listen ta my new LOVE JAM "WIGGLE DAT BOOTY,
BITCH!!!"
Medeski Martin and Wood, "Uninvisible"
This here be SOME SCARY SHIT, SCRAPPY!!! Not only do theze dudes
BE TRYIN TA LOOK EXTRA WHITE by wearin sum FUNKY ASS GOOSE MASKS O SUM
SHIT, but da title be all CONFUZIN AND SHIT!!! Itz all like TWISTED
AND CRAZY LIKE!!! Then, y'all be playin da CD and y'all be like "THIS
MUZIC BE FAGGOTY TRANCE SHIT!!! Aint nuthin like DA HOT MONEY SUPA
JAMZ!!!" Itz not only UNINVINCIBLE, itz UNNONFAGGOTY!!! Anotha
DJ HOT MONEY JOKE FO Y'ALL AT NO CHARGE!!!
Herez a SNEAKY PEEK fo next WEEKY WEEK:
Sheryl Crow, "C'mon C'mon"
Sumone ought ta tell SHIRLEY CRAW dat there be a MISPRINT ON DA COVA!!!
Afta "C'mon C-man" itz supposed ta say "LETZ ALL GO LISTEN TA SHITTY ASS
SHIT MUZIC!!!" If it wuznt fo da fact dat this bitch be SORT OF FINE
I be havin ta get DA GAT TA THIS BITCHEZ FACE!!! Or maybe I do would
iz be TAPPIN DA BOOTY and she be like "CMON CMON, GIMME SUM MO, HOT MONEY!!!"
Then I be like "DA NEXT BUS LEAVEZ IN FIVE MINUTES, BITCH!!!"
Honiez love dat SWEET TALK, PELICAN!!!
So lookee here, GOOD TRIUMPHZ OVA EVIL once again az I manage ta get
MY GOOD WORD out ta DA MASSEZ AND SHIT!!! And I be back again soon,
SO STAY TUNED TA THIS BAT STATION o whateva they uzed ta be sayin on dat
tv show DA HOGAN FAMILY!!! PEACE!!!
- DJ HOT MONEY OUT!
Be sure to check out DJ
Hot Money Smooth Mo Dee Daddy Ice Papa Smurf's website. He's
assured us that it's "supa fine like Boone's Farm wine."
