Few people have touched as many lives and souls as Willie Aames.
Catapulted to a godlike fame at an early age, Aames has shown time and
again his ability to sustain his fame, while at the same time warming hearts
and saving souls. Even when times seemed bleakest, Aames was able
to look within and still come out a champion. Tonight, on Behind
the True Hollywood Celebrity Biography Scandals, the charm, wit, and
integrity of Willie Aames.
Born July 15, 1960, Wilfred Bernard Shmarpenstein always knew that entertainment
was his true calling. As a child, he would amuse the local neighborhood
boys by taking pratfalls off his bike after being pelted in the head by
sharp rocks. He'd also get laughs by bleeding profusely while the
other kids would pummel him unmercifully. He realized that making
people laugh was a blessing and a gift he could not ignore.
Changing his name to Willie Aames so that his former classmates couldn't
track him as easily, Willie moved from Los Angeles to Hollywood and decided
to try and find fame and fortune. What he found instead was a home
on the small screen:
The cast of Eight is Enough
(one of those people circled is Willie Aames, we're just
not sure which)
Willie got cast as the plucky but deep Tommy Bradford on television's
Eight is Enough. Aames felt right at home on the show, invariably
getting into zany antics and only occasionally getting physically abused
by "nice guy" Dick Van Patten.
Hilarity such as this was commonplace with the cast
Willie often enjoyed whipping the piss out of Nicholas
(Adam Rich) in one on one
Willie looked up to costar Grant Goodeve, who played
What's-His-Name. They would often get into devious mischief together.
Goodeve had this to say: "It was flattering at
first..."
"...but when he started tagging along at my birthday
party gigs, I knew it was time to split."
And split they did. In the early '80s, just hours after Ralph
Macchio joined the cast, Eight is Enough was canceled. Dejected,
but not put back, Tommy swore he would not be held down. He tried
his hand at being a psychic.
Here we see Willie predicting the number of good movies
starring a member of any Saturday Night Live cast would make.
With his other hand, he's holding up five fingers.
No one was interested in his psychic powers though. Willie tried
to return to his true love, country music, which he was a natural at thanks
to his southern accent which no one could explain since he was born and
raised in California.
His single, "Please Buy My Single," charted modestly in the Billboard
Top Four Million and then promptly vanished. But Willie would not
be kept down. He charged back to Hollywood and demanded a high profile
movie. And he got it...
Zapped was the brilliant effort of several of Hollywood's top
producers, writers, and actors. It also marked the first pairing
of Aames with teen heartthrob and expert Sushi chef, Scott Baio.
The two had an immediate chemistry together, and it showed in the film.
Zany, madcap hijinks like this weren't all Zapped
was known for...
...it also had gratuitous nudity!
Zapped went on to sweep the Academy Awards in 1983, but its legacy
would soon be forgotten, as movies about telekinetic sex fiends became
less "trendy" and more "bizarre and perverted." Luckily, Aames and
Baio had already set their sights on a new super smash...
Charles in Charge debuted in 1984 and immediately became known
as "the highest rated show ever featuring an ex cast member of Joanie
Loves Chachi." This was viewed as a huge success by the show's
producers, who canceled it the following year.
Aames and his friend Baio were down but not out. They went to
a different studio, determined to bring Charles in Charge, with
its numerous important social merits, back on the air. In 1987, after
two long years of battling studio red tape they finally got their wish,
and Charles was in charge once again.
Baio was the main character...
...but it was Aames who stole the show with the high
energy spunk of his character, Buddy.
Audiences loved the parade of silliness as Charles and
Buddy cooked up one silly scheme after another.
Notice how Aames is cleverly looking down Josie Davis's
shirt.
It's probably best if you don't ask what's going on in
this episode.
Or this one.
Success, money, women, they were all in the actors' hands. But
still they longed for more. Willie, seeking to supercharge his already
electric career, devised a plan.
Zapped Again was a brilliant idea that couldn't go wrong.
Take the world's most popular movie, make a sequel, and you've got a recipe
for success! The movie was shot and released, only Aames overlooked
one minor detail...
...he forgot to get himself and Scott Baio cast in it! Without
their star power, the movie was a dismal failure. Charles in Charge
was canceled shortly thereafter, and Baio got offered a role in the Columbo
ripoff, Diagnosis Murder.
Willie begged Scott to find a role for him for weeks,
often showing up at Scott's house in character.
Scott refused.
Aames seemed, for the first time in his life, to be unhappy. Then
the killing spree began.
Willie went from town to town...
...leaving nothing but bloodshed in his wake.
Willie was in a bad place. His soul was empty and his mind was
corrupt. He decided to turn to a higher source, and it paid off for
him.
Willie became Bibleman! The legendary crimefighter who stops evil
in its tracks by quoting Bible verses and using the Sword of Salvation
came to life thanks to Willie's charisma and fanatical devotion to religion.
When you think of Bibleman, you can only think of Willie
Aames
Willie's brought a dimension to the character that few
thought possible.
He also brought some yellow glasses.
Now 41, Willie Aames can truly say he's lead one of the most exciting
and prolific lives in entertainment history. From sitcoms to music
to sitcoms to movies to sitcoms to fighting crime for the Lord, he's truly
one of Hollywood's all time greats.
- Danimal
