Ronald Jebediah is a good and kind man who has found his true calling
in life as mouthpiece for God. Born December 25, 1965, Ronald was
always something of a dreamer. He never really understood concepts
such as logic, reason, or social interaction. It was for this reason
that in his teen years he turned to religion--something for which he was
perfectly suited.
Since then, Ronald has adopted the nickname "Righteous Ron" and has
spent the majority of his time preaching the word of God. Mind you,
he's not a priest or minister, he's a bagger at the local Piggly Wiggly.
No, he just drones on to anyone and everyone he encounters about the Lord
and His Master Plan and how the Bible is truly the word of God, which he
knows because the Bible tells him so.
Righteous Ron has recently approached us and asked if he could provide
any kind of regular writing for Nothing Sacred. We said we wouldn't
allow it, because it didn't really fit our site, but he threatened to tattle
on us to God if we didn't let him, so we figured it would be best to just
humor the guy. His unique perspective on things show a true grasp
of the Bible and God's word and absolutely nothing else. Please don't
complain to us about him, we have no way of getting rid of him without
it being called discrimination.
Ron's wife, Angela. She is three years younger than Ron, but right
on par with his mental faculties and reasoning skills. She's a good
Christian girl who believes that sex even after marriage is still in some
way a sin.
Ron's daughter, Trinity. She is eight years old, and already well
on the path to becoming a good, solid Christian. Here we see her
in her favorite outfit for wearing out to Sunday School or the evil public
school.
Ron's dog, Cerberus. Why'd they name him after the Hounds of Hell?
Well, to quote Ron, "He can sure as heckfire seem like he's from Hell sometime
when he chews my slippers, or my Bible, or the neighbor's jugular vein."
To quote Cerberus, "WOOF!" I'll let you decide which is the more
intelligent response.
- Danimal
